Project BlueSphere

I flipped a coin 5 times this morning trying to decide to go to Tahiti or not, and 5 out of 5 times told me to go to Tahiti, why didn’t I listen to the damn coin?

I’m in a beautiful anchorage; however I almost lost my boat today!

The wind has been screaming and I decided to pull into the Ahi Atoll (Tuamotos).

Pulling into an atoll can be tricky business as currents can easily overpower your boats engine and put you on a reef. I did all the research possible and entered the atoll at exactly 20 minutes before slack tide. I couldn’t see my charts on my navigation computer as my monitor only stays on for a moment before turning off and I couldn’t take my hand off of the helm because of the extreme current.

Once I was in the pass a cloud bank hid the sun from me making visual navigation impossible. I don’t care what the GPS told me it was not slack water. There was a 5 + knot current in the pass that took control of Namaste and pushed her into a reef. I had the throttle as far down as it would go and the helm hard to starboard but she would not respond.

Why was this current here, it should be slack?

Namaste came down hard on a coral head and rolled off to the port side, I managed to get her pointed into the current again and left the reef at a whopping .2 of a knot using full steam. My hands were shaking, and my heart in my throat, I didn’t want to loose my boat. This is the 3^rd time I’ve lost control of Namaste. The first was during hurricane Isabel, the second in a 60 knot “Choko Sano” off the coast of Colombia, and now here, It’s a scary feeling.

I haven’t dived to look at damage. I can’t see any water entering the boat and will dive on her tomorrow. The wind is howling from the east and its raining hard. I wish I was at sea and never visited the Ahi Atoll.

I’m a little shook up and going to Contigo for dinner and drinks.

Peace, love, and thank God I still have my boat.

– Alex

The wind really freshened (20-25) yesterday and I spent the whole day trying to slow Namaste down. I took down the main and only flew the smallest scrap of jib. Then I dragged a bucket in the water and I was still doing 3.5 Kts. 20 miles off of Ahi I decided to hive-to. It’s really the first time I’ve done it and I’m quite happy with the results. I’m still on course to my waypoint; however I’m usually doing under a knot, and kind of backwards.

The sea conditions are more bearable with this angle on the seas and I managed a few hours of sleep. I was going to go direct to Tahiti but decided to pull into Ahi and wait for the wind to cool off; I don’t need this for 3 more days.

I’m going to enter the atoll at slack lo-water which is around noon, I’ll be hove-to for the next 5 hours or so.

I can’t wait to take a nice swim and get some rest. My back is really killing me. I often have back pain but try to keep it out of my mind. I had a fusion (L5 S1) years ago and I haven’t been taking care of it. I need to try and do something about my mattress in Tahiti.

Pace, Love, and comfy sleep.

-Alex

I was in the cockpit dreaming that I was living back in Santa Barbara last night. My uncle Sasha was with me and helping me prepare for my first day as a school teacher. We looked up in the sky and the eye of a storm was passing over head, we looked at each other and thought it strange, I said “but there has been no wind”.

I woke up to 10 knots and by the time I adjusted to being awake it was blowing 15. I was only flying the drifter and bombing along at 6kts. I could see lighting ahead of me in the distance. I asked Quint (the auto pilot) to bring us 20degrees off the wind which he promptly did. I raised the main with 2 reef points and doused the drifter. I’m always worried about tearing the old black sail in windy conditions. I got it down and on the deck without a problem. As I was putting it back in the bag a small piece of sail caught on a sharp piece of pipe and I heard the rip “$#!T”! I look at it more in detail today and figure out how to fix it.

Namaste and I are sailing along at over 4 knots and will make better time now. We have 150 miles to Ahi and I’ll have to start calculating my time of arrival. I have one shot as I have to enter the atoll at slack hi-tide. If my timing is off and I miss it by a big gap, I’ll continue to Tahiti. All I want now is a quiet place to work on the DVD…, Oh, I got my camera working. I baked it in the sun for a few hours and it came back, it was a moisture problem. I will play with it for the next few days and determine if I should send it in anyway. I’d hate for it not to work from Tahiti to wherever.

Cheers.

Alex

Only Gods should live like this.

I’ve always aspired to become the kind of sailor that feels totally comfortable in the sea. The past 30 hours have been windlass, and I’m drifting at 1.5 – 2.0 Kts.

I’m having problems with my monitor again it will only stay on for a few seconds at a time, I will get a new one in Tahiti. I need to find a 12v “car type” monitor.  I’m typing in the dark as the screen only stays lit for 5 seconds at a time; forgive me for type-os. My sat phone is also freak’n again and I’m having another delivered to Tahiti.

I’ve also received word that my favorite camera manufacturer (SONY) will only cover parts and charge me $249.00 for labor. I’m sure they can make the whole camera for less then that. I also need to attend to fixing my radar; I guess I’ll have to drop some coin in Tahiti. It’s a small price to pay for living the life of my dreams.

See you on the “flip side” hope everyone got a chance to sail this weekend.

Cheers.

Alex

These are the sailing days I wanted on my crossing. This is the gentile pacific that I’ve imagined in my minds eye.

I sleep outside under a blanket of a million stars. I watch the sun rise on the horizon and set on the horizon each day. I play my guitar. I listen to music, and I read. I spend the majority of the day with a broad smile on my lips, I am happy.

I know I’m getting strange when I’m rocking out to Neal Diamond. I’ve dug out all kinds of old music with the new appearance of an ipod, its fun.

A French patrol boat passed within 5 miles of Namaste today. They hailed me on the radio and asked the normal questions. They were pleasant, unobtrusive and wished me happy travels to Tahiti.

I spent the day rummaging every scrap of sunbrella onboard and tenting the cockpit. The sun is strong; I haven’t seen a drop of rain since Daniel’s bay. It is much cooler now.

I’m trying to assemble a definition of freedom, what does it really mean? If you have a good definition please instant message it to me. I’m reading a fantastic book (Shantaram), by Gregory David Roberts. The main character defines freedom as being able to say “no” whenever you please, I’d like a richer definition but perhaps it’s that simple. I believe I’m free and I’ve escaped the matrix, but have I? I would like to think I have, and feel like the freest man on the earth now. I also read a definition explaining freedom is the ability to want nothing and achieving it. I was looking through the west marine catalogue today and in all 1132 pages only wanted a drill bit that makes wood bungs. I remember the day I wanted 100 things from that catalogue, hummmmmmmmmm?

Anyway I just wanted to post my thoughts.

Peace, Love, and fair seas!

– Alex

What a glorious day to be alive!

I lost Aki’s lure right off the bat. I caught a large shark that took the lure and three quarters of my line, ARRRGGG!

Yesterday was a wonderful trade wind sailing day, 10-15, and calm seas. The night was equally as nice with a star filled sky and the Southern Cross guiding my way. Not one squall so far, but I’m expecting them.

Just before first light my reel woke me up. I had a nice little Wahoo on the line, it and will have it for lunch and dinner.

The morning is perfect and I’m making way at around 3.5kts, all is quite well.

Cheers everyone.

Peace, love, and Wahoo

Alex

Some places are just nicer then others, and Daniels Bay is one of those places.

I’m a very sensitive person. In the previous years I’ve become hyper-sensitive to people and places. I don’t surround myself with negative energy and try to follow the positive path in front of me. If you work at it, it becomes easier to see with time. I find some of the people I meet nice enough, but negative. I often get invited for dinner or drinks and decline due to a writing or editing project. I’m very careful with the people I let into my funny little world.

That being said I’m very comfortable in Daniels Bay. The energy here is really tranquil and I find peace floating in the air. I managed to knock out an article yesterday. I’m going to break out my editing equipment and work on the DVD for a few days and see what happens.

I’ve asked Machiko to join me sailing for a while. I’m hoping she comes to join me in Tahiti and sail West. She has a real job and apartment so it’s a big decision for her. She is one of the positive people in my life. She has never been sailing or lived this kind of life. I think the initial “culture shock” might be a bit strong coming from corporate Tokyo to “Laid back” Namaste, but I think she will find it pretty peaceful as well.

Peace, Love, and Good Energy!

– Alex

What a magnificent anchorage!

If you have access to Google earth you should check out this anchorage. I have 100% protection from the sea. The mountains climb thousands of feet in every direction. I’m sure one could weather a cyclone here.

I could even work here, I’m thinking of spending a week and seeing if my creative energy will fly. If it does I could get work done here and sail for the Tuamotos with a clear conscience.

Aki took video of Namaste under way on or 5 mile passage from the other anchorage. The wind was blowing 20, squalls hit us as soon as we broke the anchorage, and the seas were rowdy. The entrance to Daniels bay is totally hidden. You have to venture into an area between rocks and reef that you wouldn’t want to go, especially in conditions like today. Once you get close to the beach you make a dog leg to starboard and this beautiful protected cove is revealed.

I brought my sail over to Oriana’s boat but she was unable to finish the job do to broken needles, oh well.

Cheers everyone, have a great weekend.

– Alex

I woke up in the dark yesterday in the pouring rain. It didn’t seem like the day to travel but I started preparing Namaste for sea. When the sun raised all it revealed was a world of wet grey. I let out 100’ of chain on the bow and pulled Namaste towards the stern anchor. When I pulled up the anchor I noticed that the chain to rope splice was worn and had been chafing on some coral or a rock. I pulled up the main anchor and quietly puttered out of Hakahau bay with the new day. I raised the main and unfurled the jib, shortly after I doused the motor and took my morning shower at the helm. Five years ago I would think it odd to wash my hair at the helm in the rain while sailing out of an unknown harbor, not anymore.

After my shower I made a new rope splice on the stern anchor before stowing the anchor rode in my new portable chain locker. When I left Panama I bought 2 large 15 gallon plastic containers for extra diesel. I’ve sacrificed one of them for my stern ground tackle, it works out quite well.

The morning was littered with squalls (22kts) but by early afternoon the day cleared to reveal Nuka Hiva. My friend Chris and Maggy are here on Contigo. I anchored next to them and rowed over for a visit. Maggy made a nice dinner and we caught up on old times over wine. Chris is going bonkers to go spear fishing and really wants to “beat feet” to the Tuamotos. Chris and Maggy are thinking of skipping New Zeeland as well.

Today I’m going to shore to interview a local cruiser (Rose) who dropped anchor here over 20 years ago. She now owns the museum and restaurant. I’m going to write something about her for Latitudes and Attitudes.

I love my life!

Peace, Love, and Happy Birthday Mark!

– Alex

It was a wet and squally morning. My first real dangerous thing happened just after I sent out this morning’s log.

I have a self-leveling radar mount. It is connected via a stainless steel tube to the back stay. Well, the tube snapped and my radar dome went lashing back and forth in the wild seas. I was worried it was going to break my backstay. I managed to grab my Gerber tool, and over the course of 20 minutes disassembled the dome, and got it down. I got pretty beat up and bruised during the process trying to protect the dome and my backstay. I have to figure out what to do, now my radar really doesn’t work, it was kind of half-assed before, but now I have nothing.

I saw a sailboat on the horizon. For some reason I knew who it was even though I thought he was still a few hundred miles behind me. I called “Liberty” on the VHF, and my very good friend Aki replied. What are the chances that we would meet to make landfall together, he left Panama a week after I did.

As we approached Hive Oa I was in total awe. The only word I can think of to describe these beautiful volcanic mountains is “majestic”! I’ve never seen a more beautiful site. The smell of earth and fire filled my lungs, and I enjoyed the sensation like one would savor the taste of the finest wine. The peaks pierce the clouds as mist rolls down the steep cliffs and onto the water.

I am such a lucky man!

I’m going to go and try and hunt down a steak for dinner with Aki and his crew.

The anchorage is small and crowded yet amazingly peaceful and serene. I have a stern hook out and I’m anchored about 200 feet from shore.

I’m sure I’ll sleep like royalty tonight.

I’ll get pictures up as soon as I can find a connection.

It’s nice to be still.

Peace everyone.

– Alex

Not much sleep last night.

I’ve been up drinking coffee all night, blaring rock and roll “Riding the storm out”, and freshly sailing on the faces of squalls.

The squalls have been back to back, and the larger ones blowing over 20kts. I have no reefs in as I’m trying to make time. Namaste and I have been averaging 5.5 – 6.5 knots all night. I can almost do this in my sleep now!

The sun is just coming up, the seas are lively, and I feel so very alive!

Just as the light was washing away the blackness, a black spot stayed on the horizon. Squinting, I was taxing my eyes to see through the rain.  I never expected to notice Hive Oa from 30 miles out, “is it real…”, “yes”, a huge volcanic island! A moment later I noticed the Island of Mohotani on my port side.

I hate to admit it because I’m such a tuff and burly sailing machine, but I was in tears, crying like a baby. The rain washed them from my face, and only the sailing Gods could hear my laughter as I howled at the morning sky.

I really don’t know what to say. I feel so small. I’m just a tiny speck on this vast ocean, but this little speck is sailing into Traitors Bay, and anchoring in the Taahuku anchorage today!

I’ll write more tonight, I want to go back out and gaze at my beautiful prize.

Wow…, God I feel good!

Alex

Okay so I don’t know much about electronics but I needed the phone to work, the last was a test message.

I took my old broken charger from the phone and tested it’s output with a meter. The output was less then the battery output, and my battery is dead. I thought perhaps that if I connect the positive and negative to the battery terminals, squeeze the battery back in, and plug in the second charger it might work. I don’t think I could hurt anything since the voltage is lower, well, guess what, it works, Mcgiver strikes again! The phone needs to have 2 chargers plugged in, but what the hell right?

I don’t know if I should slow the boat down, I guess Ill make the decision in the morning. I don’t want to make landfall at night. I’ve got 97.3 miles to go and its 4pm.

I turned on my refrigeration today and had the first cold beer in more then a month, YUMMMM. I’ve got two lines out and hopefully I’ll get a big fish or two to keep me in food for a few when I get to Hive Oa.

I’m hoping I don’t fry the phone.

Alex

Life’s funny.

I’ve been so focused on my destination, getting there, making it, now I’m troubled at the idea of leaving the refuge of the Pacific. These past 6 weeks, protected by the isolation of the sea, have enlightened me to a few things. I may not know what I want, but I have a better sense of self!

The power of persuasion, marketing, brain washing, society, government, religion! All tell us who we are, and what is “right and wrong”. They make us question ourselves, and entrust our sense of self to something “better” as if we are not capable of making our own decisions.

I have 2 warrants out for my arrest in Maryland because I refused to pay fines ($500) for not wearing a life vest and reckless endangerment while jet skiing. “To whom” I asked the policeman, “to yourself” he replied. I was just having a nice day with my family playing on the river. “how dare you…, if you think there is a force of nature that will make me pay this your sadly mistaken”!  “Then your failure to appear will result in a warrant for your arrest”! I became hostel as stated yelling, before I was arrested, and the situation got out of hand, my cousin Steve stepped in. His brother is a senior cop and was a friend of the officer.  Steve separated us and sent me back to the truck, and no, I wasn’t drinking, and no I’ve never paid it!

Speaking of drinking, my X fiancé was given a DUI after having 2 glasses of wine with dinner. The whole process cost over $10,000. What has happened to our freedom, have we forgotten?

I don’t need the “guilt machines”. I am a good person and successful despite the fact that I’m financially impoverished. I will not be controlled! I don’t need to wear designer labels, perfumes, or drive a car. I don’t want to work my life away to buy a home that is not really mine. Try not paying your taxes and see what happens. I will not end up on my death bed thinking “I wish I had”!

A quote:

“… the strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone.”

–        Henric Ibsen

–        An Enemy of the people

How many times a day do you see billboards, hear ads on the radio, watch them on T.V, or see them in magazines? We think we block them out but we really don’t. Society tells us who we are, what we should smell like, dress like, and how we should act. I can’t believe people are sitting around watching “reality TV”, Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton…, really? Are these the role models we want for our children? I have a strong will, and even I was controlled by these dark forces, thank God I’ve broken away.

I know so many people who tell me they can’t go cruising because they have children and need to keep them in school? Do you think that the education provided to our children by our system is that good? I’m sorry, I don’t have children, but I would hope I would feel a responsibility to educate them myself. And what a better way to do it then showing them the world.

If I wasn’t making landfall on a beautiful and isolated south Pacific Island I would be in a sheer sense of panic. I’ve grown accustom to the peace and living in tune with nature. I spent most of my life in either New York City or Los Angeles. I don’t know that I could ever live in a big city again. I fear that society would strike its blow, and Alex Dorsey would be gone forever.  

Have you ever driven through Vermont? It took me a while to figure out why I liked it so much, and then someone told me “There are no billboards”, “brilliant” I thought.

I guess I’m babbling again.

I hope no one took offense of the religion reference. I don’t associate God with religion. I believe that organized religion separates man, while spirituality unites mankind. I believe it is fundamental to us as individuals to find our own path in life. The meaning of God should be as unique to us as our fingerprints. But then what the hell do I know, I’m just one guy floating around in the sea in search of peace.

“but I still haven’t found what I’m looking for”

–        U2

Peace everyone.

-Alex

Not much to report today, it has been quiet.

I inflated the dink, and caught a small tuna for lunch.

I’ve been very tired and unable to sleep, so much on my mind.

These are the last days of this incredible passage. It’s been amazing…, and it’s been crappy…, it’s been my Pacific crossing and I’ll never forget it.

I feel close to the sea today.

Sleep well everyone.

Cheers from Namaste.

Alex

I came across a fishing boat last night. I saw the lights on the horizon about 23:30. I tried hailing them in French and English…, nothing. After a few I tried Spanish and got a hit. It was an Ecuadorian fishing boat ”far from home” I thought. I could see large plooms of light in the water from squid.

The night was a tuff one, maybe an hour sleep at best. Namaste is doing that deep rolling thing. Once again I found myself on the floor covered in books and CDs. When I’m in the Marquesas I’m going to have a big bond fire and burn what I can’t give away, I have too much crap in my life. I also need to net my bookshelves as the bungee doesn’t work worth a damn.

The seas and wind are back up and I’m bombing along at 4.5 – 5 kts with 200 miles to go. I’ve learned a lot about who I am during these weeks at sea. What do I really want out of life? What will I do after Project BlueSphere?

I’m a revolutionary at heart and I thought about going home and starting a civil war, “nahhhh, too old” I thought. How about presidency, “God, who would want that job”! Then it dawned on me…, I want to be the first global dictator (kookoo)!

Well…, maybe not, but I’m thinking bigger boat. Something big enough for me to have a full time partner and still be able to charter (47-50 feet). Sounds like I might have to actually go back to work unless a network picks me up or I get good video distribution. I still have a few friends in the industry who will shop my next video as soon as I’m done with it. Speaking of the video, I’m really happy I didn’t rush it; I have some really nice footage from the crossing and Galapagos. With what I shoot in the Marquesas I’ll be able to cut a very piece together. But I bet I’ll have to go back to work.

If I can hold this pace I can make it in roughly 52 more hours, I believe that will put me in Traitors Bay on Monday.

Next time I do an ocean crossing I will do better. I could have done a better job provisioning and stowing. I never recovered from the beating at Punta Mala (my first night), and as a result have not had access to my bed. I have no lee cloth where I’m sleeping in the salon. The v-birth is nice in rollie conditions as well as on a port or starboard tack.

Cheers from the South Pacific.

Alex

I should have been focusing more on cooking during my trip. I have been all 2 willing to open a can of beans and eat it cold with a spoon or heat up a ramen. The thing is…, I’m a decent cook. Last night I made a really nice Pad Tia octopus over Japanese short grain rice with ginger. I tend to lean toward the Asian influences in cooking. I’ll give you all one of my cooking secrets, peanut butter and Chinese hot oil. Boil yourself up some rice or soba/udon noodles. Once cooked mix them with peanut butter and Chinese hot oil (the red stuff). Add shrimp, chicken, or octopus (mine is in a can), or squid and mix with bean sprouts and sesame seeds. You will be amazed how good it is. If you want something with a bit more of an American feel mix peanut butter with cooked spaghetti or other pasta and add diced peppers, pine nuts, beans and other fresh veggies. This makes a really nice cold pasta dish, you’ll love it, trust me.

The sun is out however there is rain to the north. I had a nice nights sleep but I’m getting out of bed really soar. I have spent 2 much time in the horizontal position. During much of the day I’m stretched out and reading. It’s hard 2 exercise with the motion of the boat, standing is also a chore.

I’m really looking forward to walking and getting a break from the motion.

I’ve been thinking of my voyage. I believe that the ocean is a great teacher and Namaste my classroom. Everyone gets a different experience, and perhaps the one we are meant to get. On the other hand I may have left a bit early in the season but that concept isn’t as romantic. During the last month I’ve been sick (not sea sick), and suffered 10 or so days of bad and wet weather. As of late my seas have been disturbed from the cyclones to the south, and the trade winds unstable. It is what it is, and I have learned some valuable lessons about myself and my boat.

I’m in the final stretch with just about 300 miles to go, I would think 4 more days at the most but I’ve been wrong many times in the past.

How lucky I am to be experiencing such a wonderful journey.

Take the bad on the chin and relish the good.  

Peace, love, and life!

Alex

398 miles to go!

I feel much better today.

I was having problems with blotchy vision yesterday, I think from reading so much and constant movement.

Last night I focused on trying to make a nice meal. I made tortellini with olive oil, sun dried tomatoes, and parmesan. I also found a can of salmon & garlic stuffed olives as an appetizer.

I did spend the night trying to stay on my bunk again (the wind & waves freshened), but I’m learning to do this in my sleep, the half sleeping tablet helped get me into REM.

Need to get a bigger monitor for my nav/comm computer mine is tiny (for a car) and hard to write on.

I’m going to attempt and do some laundry today.

I’m starting to think of my arrival.

Cheers.

Alex

Today is a carbon copy of yesterday, and yesterday a carbon copy of the previous week. The movie “Joe verses the Volcano” comes to mind as I feel I’m suffering from a brain cloud and trapped somewhere between a life of redundant madness and the glory of the South Pacific, just like Joe. Have you seen it?

Occasionally I’m finding I need to take a moment to gather my wits as I’m feeling a bit claustrophobic and surrounded by a very large mote. I’m not worried or anything, just happy this feeling didn’t decide to pop up 1500 miles ago where I would surly be looking at a long time before landfall, 480 miles to go, tick tock alex!

I have learned why I have such difficulty with my harness; I have a problem with restraint. I do use it when weather is particularly bad, however when I feel the tug of its secure tether the small hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I don’t feel as I’m doing anything dangerous and I’m sure statistically driving down the freeway is much more dangerous than life on Namaste even without my harness.

It is a beautiful day and I am moving along at a steady pace of 3-3.5kts. Reading is a good distraction from the boredom but every once and a while I have to put my book down to fight off a little dizziness from the motion and close focus of my book. I hope the anchorage a Hiva Oa isn’t too rollie, if it is I may pith a tent on the beach. I need to consciously make something to eat because I’ve lost interest in eating, or preparing food. I have noticed that I’ve lost a few pounds.  

I’m not returning my Instant messages because it is hard to focus on my small monitor (which is working) at the nav station. I think I may need new glasses, or perhaps a stable environment, I don’t know yet. I’ll get back to everyone as soon as I can, and yes I do like the instant messages and look forward to them all day.   

I think I’m learning something about my boundaries on a sailboat.

I don’t mean to be down; I’m just ready to get there.

alex

I know so many sailors who brave the oceans, cry like babies when it gets bad, and then tell stories of strength “Ahhh pieceacake”, I vow not to do this. It is important to me to honestly communicate my experiences onboard my little ship, an experiment if you wish.  I always wondered what it would be like to set sail upon the open world. What would I see? What would I learn? Who would I become? Are questions that drifted through the corners of my imagination for most of my life? One thing I have learned is that the world is not filled with enemies and that we should venture to see it.

I’ve always been fascinated by solitary confinement & castaways. What happens to a man when locked away or stranded? What would I learn about myself, what walls would be broken?

 

The miles are grinding slowly once again. When I was looking forward to crossing my 1000 mile mark the wind slowed to make it as painful a process as possible. The same is happening with my 500 mile mark. The wind is but a breath; and I find myself trying to figure out the meaning of my meager existence once again.

I didn’t sleep much last night, not because of the weather, but because I spent most of the night wandering the halls of my memory castle. Some doors are locked and the memories behind them hard to look at, but just a peek.

I think we (humans) tend to burry memories we are not happy with. Perhaps the key to freedom lay in these memories? Denial…, what a bitter pill to swallow! I’m not happy with all of my past. I’ve hurt people that I’ve loved, and my carrier was far to important to me in my 20’s and early 30’s, I was so driven that I walked all over people that I cared about and I’m ashamed of it! The scary thing is I haven’t done anything that unusual. Hurting people we love is common practice and we often forget what is truly important and place money and success above friendship and love.

I think we all, especially men, tend to cram things we don’t want to see into a tiny steel box in our soul and forget about them. Just like Davie Jones I too cut my heart out many years ago, put it in a box, and covered it in the deepest hole I could find. Problem is I don’t know where I put the damn key. It is important that I find it. It’s occurred to me that I might be terribly lost. What am I really looking for? Could I have been running away from myself under the air of adventure?

I’m not a religious man, however I conceder myself spiritual. Many people ask God for forgiveness, how convenient and easy, how often do we ask it of ourselves for it?

I guess the point of this log is nothing more then me realizing that I can’t change the past, however I can sculpt my future, and I’m eager and waiting with chisel in hand.

I’m very weary of posting some logs but I feel a strange responsibility. I really don’t know why I’ve chosen to share my personal thoughts; perhaps my candor will help others?

I managed to fix the autopilot today. I also changed the oil and I’m cheating a bit and running the motor. I have plenty of fuel; I just dread the cost of replacing it @ $5.00 a gallon.

I am hungry for conversation, red meat, fresh fruits and vegetables. Sometime in the night I will pass my 500 mile mark, not much further.

U2 said it best, “But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for”!

Peace.

– Alex

I spent the day studying cruising guides of the South Pacific. How will I spent the next year?

I have to conceder a few things in my plans. I only have 3 months in French Polynesia which includes the Marquesas Islands, the Tuamoto Archipelago, and the Society Islands which include Tahiti and Bora Bora. I also need to be out of Pacific Cyclone season, or held up somewhere safe by November.

After the Marquesas I will check out the Tuamotos. The condition of my radar has a lot to do with exploring the Tuamotos. The archipelago resides over a span of 1000 miles. The atolls are close together with swift currents between them. One can only enter the lagoons at slack tide due to extreme currant, and anchoring opportunities outside the atolls are scarce. This coupled with the fact that the atolls are only as visible as the tallest palm means that one can only see them from about 9 miles away. If exploring the Tuamotos, one must be prepared for night crossings in tight proximity to hull crushing reefs and surf. The Tuamotos are also known as the “Dangerous Archipelago”.  One must conceder all of these variables coupled with the fact that your GPS is useless.  The GPS will tell me exactly where I am, however the charts are not so accurate. Radar is the key and the only way to transverse the archipelago.

I want to be in Tahiti for my birthday. My birthday resides on Bastelle day which is like the French forth of July. I spent my 18^th birthday in Paris and it was quite a party. I never paid for a drink and was the topic of many toasts. Bastelle day is quite an occasion in Tahiti and I don’t want to miss it. I would also like to see Bora Bora; many say it is the most beautiful island in the world. Anyway, I have 3 months to wrap all of that up.

After French Polynesia I will visit the Cook Islands, The kingdom of Tonga, and then leave Polynesia for Melanesia and Fiji. At that point I will need to decide to sail for New Zealand, Australia, or Papa New Guinea. Much will depend on the state of Namaste and my financial situation. If I go to New Zealand or Australia I want to take some time to rest and work on Namaste. By that point I should also have all my footage for a third video. All plans are ment to be broken. I’m not counting on anything. I’m also thinking of making my way into Micronesia and working my way towards Japan. So many ideas. I have no idea which way the winds of my life will blow.  Makes it interesting doesn’t it?

Not so much wind today. Coupled with Namaste’s dirty bottom we only made 80 miles in the last 24 hours, 622 more to go.

I started another book (Fever), I’m having a hard t1me getting into it. I would love to shop through used book stores in New York City for a few days to purchase literature. I need a dose of solid brain food. The action books are all that seem to circulate with the cruisers.

Anyway, I’m charging up the batteries before I check in with my buddy Chris on 16534 @ 00:00 Zulu, then with my friend Aki on 21.397 @ 01:00 Zulu. Aki is a few hundred miles behind, we should make landfall at Hive Oa around the same time.

I zoomed out on my GPS today, man…, I’ve really sailed far!

Peace, love, and lazy days reading.

Alex

And the sea iz me!

They say “Like attracts like”, “if you lay down with dogs you wake up with fleas”, implying that we become like our surrounding and the people we surround ourselves with. It is surly true. I am quite careful with the company I keep, and I have left many “drinking buddies” in my wake. I just don’t have time for people who drag me down, life is too damn short. Karma is another thing. If you produce good energy, it will surround you and return. I don’t try and seem “above anyone” if anything I try and keep a humble demeanor and a lo-profile. And I try and go out of my way to help people.

I find myself in a symbiotic relationship with the sea. My mood swings with the mood of the sea. If it is confused by storms to the south, so am I. If it is calm and happy, so am I. I feel as if I am in extremely good company. “Live by the sword, die by the sword” right?

My eyes opened just as the first glimmer of light kissed the sky. The sea is calm and I am making 4 knots. I may be loosing it in some people’s eyes; however I would argue that actually “I’m finding it”! The first thing I did this morning is start the day by singing sea shanties (spelling) at the top of my lungs.   I peered outside and decided today is the most beautiful day of my life! How can the sky be so clear, the sea so blue?

My smile was as grand, and expansive as the Pacific itself. I managed to drink my entire cup of coffee staring at the painted morning sky. I am the sea, and the sea is me!

Speaking of karma, I’ve been contacted by a very generous subscriber. I’m receiving a gift from a total stranger. Maybe the world is not lost after all and kindness and peace will prevail? He has sent me an ipod! Actually he sent it to my friend in Tokyo who will bring it to me in a few weeks. In return for the ipod I will be looking for Tiki carvings and Tapa cloth as I travel through the Marquesas. Not a bad deal if you ask me. I’ve wanted an ipod for so long. Even if 20 grand fell in my lap tomorrow I wouldn’t buy one. I would use the money for Namaste and video equipment; I really want an underwater housing. My CD collection has gone to hell as CD media delaminates in this hot and moist environment. Oh 2 have an ipod, I have over 80 gigs of music on my computer.

Today is a good day. I may take a quick swim, not to clean the bottom, but just the prop. I’m sure it is unbalanced by growth and I don’t want to damage my shaft or tranny as I enter Hive Oa. I will surly attach myself with a line.

Peace, Love, and random acts of kindness.

Alex

With wind comes waves, its just the way it is. My waves are coming aft of my port beam, and are 7-9 feet tall. In all the conditions I’ve experienced on this trip I’ve never been worried about the safety of myself or my boat. The waves can be HORRIBLY ANNOYING though. Namaste has been moving along at 4.2 – 5 knots for the past 18 hours. It is a relief to be making way again, however the motion is shattering my already thin nerves. I’ve met a lot of sailors tougher then me, I’d say I am in the mid-80% of the toughness scale, but I am ready for land.

Last night I turned on my running lights just after dusk. I didn’t notice any color coming from the bow. I checked and only my rear white was burning. I have a second set of colored running lights on the mast in international configuration (red over green, sailing machine). I flipped the switch and only the green is burning. How many more little things can wear at my nerves? I know…, how about my second autopilot breaking! This one broke in exactly the same place the last one broke. There is a pin that holds the autopilot to the boat (not the tiller end). And there is a small pin holding it in place, that small pin creeps out of its hole and getting it back in is no easy task, I think it was pressed in by machine.

I had to make 3 cups of coffee this morning in order to get 2/3’s of one into me. I have to hold the espresso pot on the burner because the gimbals broke last week. The first cup spilled when the autopilot fell apart and I had to make a dash for the helm, the second one spilled when I took my hand off the pot for a moment to put some powdered milk in my cup. I lost an eighth trying to pour the coffee in the cup, and another bit to a new burn on my leg.

Anyway, I spent the night trying to stay on my bunk. I turned on my steaming light so I at least have a white burning on both ends. I am far from shipping lanes, the closest one to me was Brisbane Australia to Panama, but I left that behind about 2500 miles ago. My steaming light illuminates my sail and is quite visible at night.  

These last miles are seemingly the hardest. I’m exhausted, physically and mentally. However the day is beautiful and I’m happy to be making good way.

“A watched pot never boils”, I must stop looking at my distance to go, 731.4 miles!

I know it will be worth it.

Alex

The wind kicked up to 11-15, if it holds I’ll be looking at days over 100 miles again, 800 to go.

I got a chance do some more writing on my next article; I’ll submit it to L&A shortly after I arrive in the Marquesas. Hopefully I’ll find good internet for uploading pictures, otherwise…???

I must say I’m getting worn out, I’m tired. I’ve got a number of boat bruises & bites. The water burn on my leg is peeling and itching like mad. Namaste is doing well but showing wear. I’ll need a new VHF, hopefully I can fix the radar, I know I can fix the stove, and I’ll need to replace my solar charge controller. More then anything Namaste needs a good cleaning. She never really recovered from the Punta Mala mess more then 3000 miles ago.  

I’m really looking forward to sitting at a table, eating a real meal, and not moving. If there is an inexpensive hotel room I might retreat for a night.

Peace everyone.

Alex

Well it was an interesting night.

I couldn’t fall asleep so I watched part of “Pirates of the Caribbean 2”. I don’t think the island with the cannibals was shot in the Caribbean, it looked like a south pacific volcanic island to me?

I probably fell asleep around midnight. Between midnight and 15:00 I had to tend to the radar’s perimeter alarm at least on 5 different occasions as rain was in the area. As soon as I would fall asleep the alarm would sound, it was like a “don’t sleep” alarm. Every time I got up to look at the radar I would either decrease the perimeter or try to tune out the rain so I could get some sleep. At 16:30 I was up and in panic mode. Over the years of waking up in panic mode I’ve trained myself with a .30 second delay, “okay…, think, don’t act!” I was sure a cyclone was on top of me. The rain was torrential and I’m sure the wind over 25kts, I had full canvas flying.

“Cyclones don’t come this far east, It’s just a squall. You’ve dealt with hundreds of squalls, just roll in the jib and reef the main. This is a good thing. Squalls are a healthy part of the trade wind system, you will have wind tomorrow.” I went outside to tend to Namaste.

As soon as I released the jib I slipped back and the sheets from both sides flew from their blocs and were violently lashing at the squall. I could almost hear Namaste screaming “Back, Back” like a lion tamer. I quickly reeled in the reefing line disarming Namaste of her weapons.

All in all getting the jib in only took my .45 seconds. Within another minute I had 3 reefs in the main and the wind was fading.

As I sat on deck in the torrential downpour I realized I was shaking from cold. “It’s 80 degrees, how can I be so cold” I thought? Am I really this used to the warm weather?

I came inside to dry off, make coffee, and check the radar for more squalls.

I think my radar is screwed. It seems to only register a few degrees of a 360 degree sweep, and erase the information with the next sweep. I really depend on my radar for its perimeter alarm. I don’t know that I will attempt to explore the Tuamotoes with out it. The atolls are low and only visible from as little as 9 miles away; I could easily put Namaste on a reef at night as the charts can be drastically off for the area. Perhaps I can fix it? I will need to check it out at anchor as I will need to disassemble the dome.

Another night in the log books.

Anyway I’m hoping for wind today, only 841 miles to go.

Pease, love, and squalls.

Alex

Thank God for my drifter! I’ve had to scrape the last 100 miles off the surface of the Pacific with my fingernails. 888 miles to go!

I got up this morning and Namaste was hobbling along at just over a knot.

I noticed a fare amount of growth on the bottom yesterday and toyed with the idea of doing a quick clean today but I had a shark dream last night so I’m not too jazzed with the idea now. In my dream I was playing near the boat on a very small inflatable (maybe 3’) out at sea. The large waves would roll me and the inflatable, I was having a blast. I was thinking “how cool, I can’t wait to write about this in a log” then I looked under the water at a large great white and calculated If I could make it back to the boat. I didn’t pinch myself, but quickly woke up. Instead I raised the drifter just as the first light touched the darkness and have been reading ever since. I’ve never read so much in my life as in this last month.

When I was provisioning in Panama I bought some vacuum-sealed steaks. They are pre-cooked and quite salty but hit the spot when you want a dose of red meat. I’ve been saving my last one for a few weeks and was going to eat it to celebrate breaking a 1000 miles. They were supposed to be good for 3-4 weeks without refrigeration, it’s been around 5. I opened it today and it seemed fine. There was the smallest trace of something smelling bad and I thought it was my imagination. Just as I was about to cook it I threw it into the sea. The last thing I need is to be sick again. I’m really craving red meat and fresh stuff, oh well; it is not so far away. I have a few cans of meat on board; maybe I’ll try to brave one for dinner, “YUCK”!

These past few days are the first time I’ve really seen the sea the color it is in post cards. It’s quite blue. I can only imaging what it will look like draped around a South Pacific island, tick tock Alex, tick tock.

Anyway, the drifter is calling me for a trim, I’m making 3kts..

Cheers everyone, and greetings from the deep blue sea.

Alex

I just got off the SSB and learned that there are 2 cyclones to the south of me stealing my wind. I am making way slowly at about 3 knots, 950 miles to go. I’ve been informed wind will be scarce for the next few days, hopefully back to full trade status by the weekend.

The bracket on my auto pilot broke (the part that connects to the tiller), but luckily I had a spare and fixed the situation quickly. I also see that a clamp on my boom has broken; I think I can fix it by lashing the area with line it can wait till tomorrow.

I worked on my inflatable today patching what I hope is the last leak. I still want to paint the floorboards and try to squeeze another season out of her.

I’ve spent most of the day reading and trying not to focus on the fact I’m creeping along at a snails pace. I talked to a friend on the SSB who is sailing for Hive Oa and he still has over 3000 miles to go, made me feel better.

Not much else to report today. I’m feeling really tired thought-out the day I think it is from the lack of exercise.

The sunset is particularly beautiful tonight; I’m sailing directly towards it.

I’ll open a can of something for dinner and return to the Sahara with Dirk Pit for the rest of the evening.

Cheers.

Alex

988 miles to go, YEEEEHAAAAA!

Just a warning, you’re going to have to endure more of my rambling. You must realize my logs are not only for your benefit, but are my personal diary.

I took down the drifter at around ten last night. A fat rain cloud appeared, dropped three drops of rain and produced 13kts of wind for a 4 minute period. I should have left the drifter up, but I wasn’t going to fly it again once it was down. I had been sleeping outside to be closer to the environment as I wanted to wake quickly with any weather change. After poling the jib, I went below, checked the radar, and quickly fell asleep again.

I woke at 5 this morning (pacific time) to an odd “THUD”.

I smelled cigarettes and herd voices in the distance. What was the sound that woke me I thought? I didn’t think it odd hearing voices or smelling cigarette smoke as it is quite common for people to pass close in a dingy when one is at anchor. The sea was very calm and it did indeed feel like I was at anchor. Another 15 seconds passed and I realized where I was. I quickly bounced up for a look around. Nothing but a half moon high above, and a sky full of stars. My radar was clear and I hopped back into bed.

I wasn’t really tired anymore so I decided to remember once again. Actually let me back up a few days and tell you how this whole memory thing started.

I was reading “Hannibal Rising” which I really enjoyed by the way. It is about how Hannibal Lecter became to be and told the story of his childhood on the eastern front during WW2. Hannibal was a gifted and intelligent child, and had a wonderful private teacher as a boy. One day his teacher asked if he wanted to remember everything, “of course” young Hannibal replied. “Well if that’s the case you must construct a memory palace”. He went on to explain how a memory palace was a place in your mind where you stored memories like in a library. If you wanted to remember something you walked into the appropriate room like “mathematics” and filed the memory in the proper place. This way it was easy to visually find the memory you want and access it at a later time.

I found this fascinating concept and have been constructing my memory castle (mine is a castle) ever since.

Every time I visit my memory castle I enter by horse-drawn carriage. I have a remote in my pocket that lowers the bridge so we can pass over the mote, and only I have this remote. It’s usually a dramatic dark and stormy night, however I have passed in the day and the surrounding forest is quite beautiful. I’m always kind to my driver “Take the week off I’ll be here a while” who I suspect is an old friend, however I haven’t seen his face yet. When I push open the 15 foot doors I smile at the gargoyle to my left and thank him for keeping my hose safe. When I enter the foyer it’s kind of a mess. Skate boards and yoyo’s litter the floor amongst a backdrop of suits of armor and video games. I always change into my house shoes which are a pair of black Converse all star high-tops. If you have ever been to the New York City public library you will have an idea of what my foyer looks like.  Stairs lead up to halls which are marked “people, places, things” amongst endless halls which I will label as I need them. Every time I visit I try to clean up by grabbing something off of my messy floor and filing it.

This morning it was a yoyo that sparked as you used it. “Where do I put this I thought”? I strolled down the “places” hallways until I found a room for my grandmother’s house in New Jersey. My mother and I lived there for a brief period after her divorce from my father, I was about 5. I loved that YoYo and often slept with it. During this time I had a lot of nightmares and was afraid to sleep, probably having to do with my parents divorce. I tried my hardest to stay awake every night, but it never worked, they always came to get me and I would wake up screaming and crying.

My uncle Sasha (Alex) is a really cool guy. He was a total hippie and was, and still is one of my favorite people. If you’re looking for something out of the ordinary, or an old comic book you should check out his site, I think it is www.neetstuff.com.

Anyway, it was my uncle who taught me I could control my dreams. “You can always just pinch yourself if you think you’re dreaming and you’ll wake up, but the fun part is, knowing you’re dreaming”. If he told me this today I’d ask if he was tripping, but at the time I took his advice, and believe it or not, it worked.

I was being chased down a street one night and realized I was dreaming. I turned around and faced the dark figure that was chasing me. It was this moment in my life that my brass balls dropped, and I’ve had them ever since, I stood firm!

The dark figure quickly scurried down an unlit alley way, I pinched myself, and I was awake.

I owe more to my uncle then I ever thought. I haven’t talked to him in a while but will try and contact him as soon as I have access to a phone.

I guess the moral of the story is “take time for yourself”! We concern ourselves with so many un-important things we forget ourselves and who we are, and why we are. Try to build a memory place when you have time, perhaps before sleeping. It beats thinking of work the next day, and I think it is a healthy mental exercise.

I’m not concerned with the wind speed any more. This is a very important time in my life and I believe Namaste and the sea have conspired, and are getting me to my destination at precisely the proper pace. 

Oh…, when I went to make coffee I found out what the “THUD” was. My stove wore through the aluminum material where it gimbals and dropped a few inches on one side. Cooking will be a little harder from now on. Once I’m at anchor I can fix it by drilling new gimbal holes.

Peace, Love, and Memories.

Alex

No more then ten knots of breeze today. Most of the time it has been blowing 5-8. The drifter is up and poled out to the starboard, and the main boomed out to the port. I am sailing “wing on wing” making about 3.5 knots. I’m going to break a rule and fly my drifter tonight. I really was trying to break 1000 miles by midnight but it will not happen. However when the sun rises tomorrow I’ll be counting down in triple digits.

Just as I was thinking what to do for dinner tonight I caught a nice Dorado. I pan fried it in olive oil with garlic, onions, and lime, it was awesome. Of course I had a Guinness with it.

All in all damage has been minimal. A few days ago I noticed a 2 foot piece of aluminum tube come out of the boom and fall into the sea. Everything seems to be working fine though. I think it had to do with helping keep the reefing lines clear and separated. A piece of my wood sole broke, and today the VHF went funny. It seems to work fine, just no more squelch, always a static hiss.

I’m deep in my Sahara adventure with Dirk Pitt and will read until my eyes drop.

Does anyone know what time zone I’m in?

Peace from the Pacific.

– Alex

  

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed how ridiculous instant oatmeal is? All it is, is oats in little packages with sugar and chemical flavoring for ten times the price. It’s really not that hard to take a handful of oats and throw in a handful of nuts, raisins, and sugar before nuking it.

That was random!

I didn’t sleep much. I had 3-5 knots from the stern. The wave action rolled me through the night. At one point I was on the floor with books and CDs on my head again. I really need to net my library or lighten it. I found myself growling at the mess as a mad dog might.

I was hoping to announce breaking the 1000 mile barrier this morning but the decrease in wind shows that I still have 66 miles to go, hopefully tonight.

As soon as the sun was rising I was trying to get my drifter up, before coffee, mistake. As soon as I raised the halyard the drifter flew to starboard, I rigged it for the port side. If we take into account the fact I never make mistakes, it must have been the wind that shifted, right? When I doused the drifter it got wet and went under almost pulling me off of the bowsprit. I have a nice rope burn on my left shoulder. I know I should have had my harness on! After getting everything in order and re-flying it on the starboard side I’m scraping 3.2kts out of 8, I guess I can’t complain. I’m usually quite graceful flying my drifter by myself. I guess the lesson is not to attempt it before being awake with coffee in my gut.

I was hoping to make the last 1000 miles in 8 days but perhaps not. I’m in no rush; I’ll easily make Hive-Oa before my friend arrives on the 28^th.

I got an email from my friend Aki on Liberty. He is roughly 400 miles behind me trying to find me.

I hope everyone had a happy Easter.

Sail far and live slowly.

Alex

No speed records for the past few days, 90 miles yesterday, today about the same. I’m hoping for a bit more wind tomorrow.

I had a fabulous nights sleep and slept past the sunrise.  

Today has been 10kts from the east and blue skies. The main is up all the way up and out to the starboard. The jib is all the way out and poled, but luffing away. If I roll it up Namaste waddles terribly, so I leave it out and let it slap away, it’s “staying” the boat.

This morning I made oatmeal with flax, raisins, and walnuts for breakfast.  For lunch I fried up some onions & potatoes and added a can of beans. My onions and potatoes are on their last legs. I need to cut out the bad parts.

For all intensive purposes I have been at sea for a month (18 days from Galapagos).  My legs yearn to walk, and my stomach desires a nice sit-down meal, not this Easter. I can hardly wait to lay my eyes on the shore.

I spent much of the day, day-dreaming and working on my memories. My earliest memory puts me at about three and a half when I cut my hand open on some glass in central park. Traumatic memories seem to have more of a dig in the memory bank.

I started Clive Cussler’s “Sahara” today. On the front it says it is to be a major motion picture starring Matthew McConughey, did that ever happen, and was it a good movie?

Happy Easter everyone.

– Alex

The cyclone has brought me a gift…, peace.

Today as how I envisioned sailing across the pacific. The sea was electric blue and the sky clear as crystal. The seas calm, and a slight breeze (8kts) pushed me along serenely.

My day was timeless.

I read, listened to music, played my guitar, and spend hours trying to reconstruct memories. Many of my memories have faded with the years and I want them back. If you consciously work at it you can keep them but the forgotten memories fade and I have lost many to neglect.

My SSB hasn’t been working well or propagation is really bad. I try and check in with my buddy Chris on Contigo every day, but no joy today, just static.

I expect tonight will be calm along with tomorrow. I only made 90 miles in the last 24 hours.

I got an email from a buddy who has made landfall in the Marquesas, he says it beets all of his expectations, and worth every drop of effort.

I just finished “Hannibal Rising”, and need to finger through my library and find another book.

I finished my last orange today, time to tap into the coconuts.

Peace, Love, and Coconuts.

Alex

If you think you going to be able to come here and just read about weather conditions and how wonderful sailing is, “Wrong”, you have to endure the entire Alex Dorsey experience. A quote:

“Let us conceder that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other.

–        Mark Twain

I was happy to get my log updated with my shorting out sat-phone yesterday. I thought it would be my last transmission until the Marquesas.

If you saw my sat phone you could learn a little about who I am. It is bandaged and the bottom is glued together (5200), and the antenna partially burned. It has been through the ringer with me and I have had to fix it a number of times. It has become an old friend, or arch-rival depending on the occasion.

What do they call it when one shakes an infant to death? Well I almost killed my sat phone yesterday however I couldn’t find a good handhold for strangulation, so I shook away, AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

My phone and I both have circuitry issues; however I was determined to fix it and spent most of the day meditating about it. It is amazing what one can accomplish when you have time and a little incense. I remembered something one of the guys said at agiosat when I ordered a new 12v connector, “You know it needs a good battery right”. Why would he say that, I’m ordering a charger? The batteries are $120.00, and I never take the phone off the boat, I’ll just leave it plugged in all the time. Then it dawned on me. “Surely the good folks at Motorola wouldn’t have designed it to need a battery even though it was plugged in would they”?

Possibly not, I did take 2 lightning strikes in the last year. For some reason the phone needs to be connected to the data port in order to charge, I think it needs it for a ground.

Anyway. To make a long story short, If I keep the phone charging and off, and only turn it on when I need to xmit I might be able to use the trace power left in the battery. I think its working. I thought of rewiring the power from the charger to the battery connectors but the battery only puts out a few Mila-amps, and the charger an ample amount more.

Sorry for the rambling but that was my day yesterday. I really want to keep everyone online during my crossing.

The weather is beautiful and sunny. The Tropical Cyclone to my south is stealing a bit of my wind but I’m still managing 100 miles a day. I’m told it should freshen after Monday.

I’m trying to have a battery delivered to my friend in Tokyo who could bring it later in the month.

Having the phone off all day is strange. I’m used to the company of my instant messages throughout the day. I will turn it on a few times throughout the day to check instant messages and transmit.

Peace from the middle of the Pacific

Sail far, and live slowly.

Alex

I had a rough night, not because it was rough, but variable. The sails needed a lot of attention. I believe the Cyclone ahead of me is affecting the weather.

Today however, I live in a miraculous world of blue. The sea is bluer then the sky and the sky is as blue as I’ve ever seen it.

I will have a new look for my new world. I broke out the clippers today to trim up and shaved a stripe down the left side of my head. Now my hair is the same length as my trimmed beard and I love it, it feels really clean and cool.

I’m in the groove of the crossing and feel really good. I was really loosing it under the thumb of the cipro and gloomy skies and seas of the UDC, thank goodness that is behind me.

I really can’t wait to upload pictures from the crossing; this is such a beautiful experience.

Everything gets used harder at sea. I’m worried about my monitor, it’s blinking on and off and I hope it holds. It’s a very small computer monitor, the kind you get for your car; I don’t know where I will find another one. I’m also hoping that this log gets out. My sat phone is on its tippy-toe of its last leg. Ahhhh, the joys of technology!

Cheers everyone.

Alex

Sailing is getting a bit trickier. I have not worried so much about direction and leaned to the south. I am now at the same latitude as Hive Oa and need to keep a sharper eye. The wind is also slowly shifting more to the east and wakening to around 11kts. I spent a good amount of time today trimming sails.

I made a bit of a diesel mess trying to get the contents of my 15 gallon container into the tank. I also took a small mouthful of diesel siphoning it out of the container, YUCK!!! Now I’ll get cancer and die before I reach my destination, or maybe not.  

I really left the UDC behind today, I got some amazing pictures of the large mass of weather I left behind me, very dramatic, cant wait to upload them.

It is quite comfortable on Namaste now. I’ve managed to clean up a bit and if the weather holds I am planning on sleeping outside tonight.

I’m getting excited, I feel that I’m on the final stretch, 1400 miles left of a 4000 mile trip, Wahoooo!

Cheers everyone.

Alex

It all came full circle last night.

The first sunset I’ve seen in a while appeared last night, and what a doozy it was. Namaste and I bathed in its pink light as the sea’s confusion subsided. The 8 foot waves spread apart until the motion was one of a mother rocking a newborn in a crib. The first real clear sky appeared for a few hours and the Southern Cross and full moon lit my evening. The wind continued at 12kts pushing my modest boat along swiftly.

If a spy satellite was taking video of me I would surely be dubbed mad as a hatter. Drinking Guinness, naked as a jay, and singing to the soundtrack of  “O Brother where art thou” was the stage. My smile reached Hiva Oa last night.

Mad or not, it was a beautiful night to be at sea. I thought I would rise to a clear sky but the sea has other plans today. I have 100 percent overcast and 15kts from the SSE. I’d rather have the wind then sun so I’m happy with the situation, can’t have it all right?

I’m going to look through my library for a new victim after breakfast. My plan is to read the day away, perhaps take a nap, or struggle with the weather, who knows?

Cheers everyone.

Peace, love, and commitment.

Alex

Sorry for the delay in logs I’m having comm. Problems.

I caught 2 dorado yesterday, one was a bull, and the biggest I’ve ever caught. I took 8 fat fillets from him which are now on salt. Good thing too because I don’t have much of an appetite, they will last.

There is more sun today, however last night the wind freshened to 22kts and the swell seems to have changed a bit of direction. The wind weakened over night and is back down to 17. With the new swell direction (more on the stern) I have a large port to starboard roll as I’m making my 5 kts. It makes it quite difficult to do anything with the exception of lay in my bunk with my eyes shut.

I’m not ashamed to admit I’m tired. Not including my 2 days in the Galapagos I’ve been at sea for more then 3 weeks. I am very much looking forward to putting this passage behind me. It has not been the coconut milk run I’ve read about probably because of the La Nina aspect. And according to my weather sources I spent more then a week in a secondary ITCZ (My UDC) which really wore me out. I’m hoping these last few weeks shape up and offer a better ride. I know it is worth it and I’m not complaining I’m just bruised, battered, and burned. Wait till you see the pictures of my hands I took in the UDC, looks like I should be in the hospital. A crew member would make all the difference in the world but I want to do this on my own. My burn did not blister over night it’s just red and soar. I do have a burn kit on board with gauze somewhere but I don’t think I’ll need to try and dig it out. There is a tropical cyclone developing I the Tahiti area, however I’ve been told it is nothing for me to worry about.

My mental goal is the 1000 mile mark. From there I’m hoping to become more excited as the triple digits roll back.

I’m really proud of my buddy Rick (my star pupil) who I met on a charter this past year. He got his boat and is on his way. Check out www.sailblogs.com/member/bccjunessa/ nice boat, you can’t go wrong with a Bristol Channel Cutter.

Seize the day!

Cheers everyone.

Alex

Today I woke to another grey day, the good news it’s not the UDC, the ceiling is high and I can still see patches of blue to the south. The wind is blowing 15 – 18 from the SSE.

Last night I wanted to make nice pasta in celebration of escaping the UDC. I had the pasta on the burner boiling away when a large wave sloshed the boiling water down my left leg; thank goodness it missed my mid-section. Man what I would have done for some ice or something cold. I turned the fridge off a week ago with the absence of the sun and solar power. My leg is pretty red and still burns. I’m happy to be off the Cipro.

I’m deep in my Clive Cussler book “Serpent”, it is good entertainment.

I’ve got the line out for the first time in a while and I’m hoping for fresh fish tonight. Maybe I’ll even have a warm beer now that I’m off the antibiotics.

Many people asked f I could feel the effects of the tsunami, the answer is “no”. Tsunamis travel very fast (400kts) and are undetectable in deep water. I did hear on the SSB last night that a late cyclone is developing in the Tahiti area. I hope it doesn’t steal my wind entering the Marquesas.

I have a grey and brown brillow pad growing on my face, it makes me look old. I can’t wait to shave it after some pictures.

I am at mid point from land now; could I possibly be the most secluded man on earth?

Cheers everyone.

Alex

P.S. just caught a nice dorado for dindin.

All sailors know of the ITCZ (Inter Tropical Convergence Zone) or simply better known as “The Doldrums”.

I have made a new discovery…, the UDC (The Uber-Death Cloud), or perhaps I’ll call it Viento Pegasoso (The sticky wind (in Spanish)), and no I can’t spell in Spanish, or English for that matter.

The UDC floats around the Pacific eating small boats and driving captains and crews mad! Thank God I survived. It is an anomaly, a vortex in space and time, a black hole, it’s the UDC! STAY AWAY!!!

I’ve never sailed through weather the way I have for the past week my surroundings were so heavy and grey you wouldn’t believe that wind could be associated with such conditions. The ceiling was so low it seemed that Namaste was constantly cutting the belly of the clouds open with her mast, resulting in massive downpour. Wouldn’t wind blow this all away?

I was sailing through the UDC today when I saw something strange, a way out! There was an exit to my dark cave to the south. A doorway about 7 miles wide and 5 miles high. It literally looked like the exit from a cave gleaming blue sky on the other side. “It’s directly into the wind though”! I decided if I burned every drop of diesel I had to get out of this God forsaken place it would be worth it. I kicked the old girl over and went bashing to weather. The opening seemed to be getting smaller. I felt like Indiana Jones rushing to get out of the cave before the rock door slid down trapping me forever.

Four hours later I was laughing in the sunshine, I cut the motor. I turned around, my doorway had closed.

I see cotton ball clouds above and to the south, the west and north looks like uber-crapola.

It appears that the UDC extends to the west in front of me. I’m not big on making southing just to make south. I am on a direct course (slightly south) for Hiva Oa, I want to make good time. I don’t want to add unnecessary miles to my trip.

Anyway, that was my day.

I’m hoping to see a few stars tonight.

Alex

Nothing like a good nightmare to put things in perspective.

RIPPLE EFFECT, FADE TO DREAM SEQUANCE:

I was wearing my black Armani (Still have it in Maryland) and I was having chocolate martinis with KC and the Sunshine Band at the Olive in Santa Monica.

I ordered some calamari rings “man, I loved you guys, what ever happened to you” I said?

They looked at me in unison and said “bad bloging, time to pay”!

After I finished my swallow of martini I said “what”?

CUT TO:

2 native men were dragging me up a south pacific beach towards a tribe of what looked like cannibals. They threw me in the sand before King Grandakakabigmantitty. Tiki tourches lit the scene and he was wearing a grass skirt and sitting upon a throne of bones. His toothless tribe studying my every move. He was holding a spear, and on the end of the spear was Gilligan’s head which looked at me and said “your in deep doodoo now, don’t ask about the skipper, it was ugly”!

King Grandakakabigmantitty looked at me, laughed, and said “don’t listen to Gilligan he stupid, I like you, you funny, we no eat. Instead I have big surprise”!

I took a deep breath of relief, until I saw what the big surprise was.

His 832 pound daughter appeared from behind his throne.

“This is my best daughter, princess gonnawannalayya, you marry, first dominatrix in all Polynesia, we make big progress, yes?”

I closed my eyes as tight as I could and found myself waking up screaming “there is no place like home, there’s no place like home”!

I ran outside to the grey rainy night and was happy to be home.

I know what has been getting me down and it isn’t the rain, it’s the cipro. Many people have sent me Instant messages warning me about the dangerous side effects of cipro, thank God today is my last day on it.

It is still quite grey but no rain yet this morning. For a few minutes there was a patch of blue sky above Namaste. It was only big enough to get a bucket through, but it was nice to see.

Sorry for the downer log yesterday.

1778 miles to go.

Alex

Water dripped into my nav-monitor, it is shorting out. I use this computer for communications and navigation. I hope I can continue to get blogs out.

In a worse case scenario I can try to get everything loaded on my laptop and blog and navigate from it.

Damn the rain, I need the sun!

Everything is so friggn wet and moldy smelling. Where is the “coconut milk run”?

The rain is getting to my mood. I’m having problems passing the time. I don’t want to read, I’m just waiting for the rain to stop. I don’t even feel like eating. I haven’t tried to fish in 4 days.

Sorry my spirits are not up, but they are not.

I’ve got the motor running and I’m charging the batteries. I need to run the motor for a few hours every day when the solar panels are not producing.

Sorry for the downer log.

Cheers.

Alex

April fools!

Rain rain go away come back some other day!

Last night about 03:00 I woke to a strange sound. I could not tell what it was as it woke me up.

A few minutes later I heard it again. A double key click from the VHF.

I jumped up and scanned the black and rainy night looking for a light, nothing.

I fired up the radar, the screen splotchy with squalls “I’ll never find a boat in this mess” I thought.

I grabbed the mic “Hello is anyone out there”?

A few minutes later “Mushi Mushi”. I replied with a crude hello and good morning in Japanese.

“2 fishie boat” he replied.

I came back with “sailing boat”, “aahhhhh schaling boat, harrow”, “Konetchiwa”!

That was the end of the conversation. I didn’t get much sleep after that, I checked the horizon every 15 minutes but never caught a glimpse of my new friends.

The seas have smoothed and the wind is down to 12kts, however the rain continues.

Perhaps I will see the sun today?

I guess I’m not alone out here after all.

Pease, Love, and “2 fishy boats”

Alex

I’ve been inside all day with the companion way closed. I can’t read and have just been thinking about my thoughts again.

I haven’t seen the sun for 3 days. The grey of the sea & sky engulf my world, it’s all I know these days. I am alone on a small boat in the middle of the greatest ocean in the world, why?

A friend sent me an instant message. “You didn’t think the price of admission was free did you”?

Those words rolled through my mind for a while.

I got out of bed, slid back the hatch, and let the rain sting my face. The waves snarled and hissed, the wind howled through the rig, and a smile touched my lips as I realized something.

“Fear guards the gates of freedom”!

We are all so afraid these days. Big seas, terrorists, poverty, whatever. No…, the price of admission is not free, we must sacrifice, WE MUST SACRIFICE! Without sour there is no sweet.

Make it happen!

Peace, Love, Sacrifice and Freedom!

Alex

I need to make small goals to keep sane. For the past 5 days I have been looking at my distance to go and wishing it were under 2000 miles, I’m at 2008 miles now and will break the 2000 mile barrier in about 80 minutes.

I managed to get a decent nights sleep. I had the best dream; I played with my old dog Ranger all night, that’s it, just played with my dog. When I got up Namaste was screaming along at 7.2 knots however the seas have calmed a bit which is nice. It seems that I get a better motion to the boat if I’m a tad over powered.

Anyway, it’s hart to write. I got the advice from a professional weather router yesterday, his text will follow.

Cheers everyone.

It appears he is in an area of high pressure gradient squeeze between a high to the south and low pressure near the equator.

High pressure centered near 40S 090W is about 1030mb. Ridging from this high extends over his track from vessel’s current position near 06S 103W to Marquesas. Measured winds over his track as of 1400Z today were SE near 25-30kts seas . High weakens next 24hrs to 1024mb. This tends to abate wind/sea conditions over his track but gradient remains healthy at 22-27kts, seas 8-10ft. Moving west, expect wind direction to tend to back to easterly. On Sunday, expect high to continue to weaken to 1020mb. Winds abate to 10-20kts. On Monday, winds will have a continued tendency to back to easterly as you get more towards the west of high center still near 40S 090W.

Suggested Route: Maintain current course and speed for best and safe ride. Winds from high center are too widespread to go looking for lesser conditions.

I really was beside myself this morning all I could do was lay in bed and watch my things bounce off the wall.

“Why is my floor wet” I thought? I put my fingers in it and tasted it, salt water! How could I be taking on water? All my threw-hulls are perfect, everything is double clamped and I just went through and replaced all the hose a few months ago, this cant be!

I checked the t-hulls under the sink, and the ones in the head, no water. That only leaves the one for the motor intake, and the 2 scuppers. I opened the engine room door and found a river of sea water hammering into the bilge. I could see the threw-hull for the motor and it looked fine.

I jumped into the cockpit and started pulling everything out of the lazerette, Bingo! You know the $5.00 a foot hose with the wire in it that shouldn’t break, well it breaks! I just installed this a few months ago. Something (I think my dive bag) was bouncing on it and it broke. I turned off the valve and stopped the water. I don’t know that I can fix it. I do have another scupper which isn’t a problem. The only problem is I have an anti-siphon valve in it from the cooling water and a small amount of cooling water is pumped into the boat when I run the engine now.

I spent the next two hours inflating my dinghy and lashing it to the foredeck for a piece of mind.

I spent a small fortune today calling friends and trying to get weather info. Everyone who looked at charts told me the same thing “It’s going to get worse before it gets better”! Some told me to go south but I’m not going to beat into this sea. I am going a little more west and taking the waves more from the stern which seems to help a bit. My friend on the SSB told me to prepare for 4 more days of this.

I’m sure I’ll be fine as long as I can keep the sea out of the boat.

I need a vacation!

Cheers.

Alex

The sky lightened around 7;00 (Panama time) only to reveal more darkness.

At 10:00 last night I woke from a nightmare, I was on a sinking ship and someone was trying to kill me. When my eyes opened and I realized it was a dream my fear did not subside. Namaste was barely in control doing more then 7 knots, it was blowing a gale and I was being tossed around like a rag doll.

I got outside and doused the jib and she calmed a bit however the rolling motion increased. I’ve been up ever since. Its blowing 25-30, and I hope you can appreciate how difficult writing this log is; I’m surprised I can pull it off.

The sea is turning into a La Nina state rapidly. The sea is getting colder and the trades strengthening, timing is everything I guess.

I must say I’m not happy. Quint (my autopilot) is working triple time, I hope he holds.

Tomorrow I will reach my half way point from Panama, I have just over 2000 miles left to go, and I’ve only had one good trade wind day.

I hope this ends up being worth it. I am cold, tired, and feel like a whole new kind of shit today.

Peace, Love, and ???

Alex

Another 135 miles in the log book today.

I hear the pictures are up in the gallery now, check’m out!

I feel a hell of a lot better. I still get winded quickly but I feel human again. I took a good bath in the seawater and even rinsed with fresh.

I caught 2 dorados today. I had one fresh filet for breakfast and dried the other 3.

I also caught a dolphin. I’ve never had one hit a lure, I thought they were too smart. After I tightened the drag the hook broke off. It will rust out of his mouth quickly. He turned around and came by the boat and gave me a “that was stupid of me” look. The huge pod of dolphin played about Namaste for an hour or so then took off like a flash.

I’m really happy and grateful to be out here.

A few have asked if I have seen any commercial traffic, the answer is no. Not on the radar or visually. I doubt there is another human for 700 miles around me.

I can see a squall coming and I’m probably going to take another shower, the fresh water really feels good.

What a life eah?

Peace, Love, and sailing the South Pacific!

Alex

All is well.

I put the table down in the salon and sleeping inside. Actually I’m spending a lot of time inside avoiding the sun because of the antibiotics.

My poor Namaste needs such a cleaning. Coffee and food are ground into my upholstery. The v-birth is full of everything that finds its way to the floor and I need to wipe everything down with bleach or vinegar. She is a tough cookie though and doesn’t seem to mind getting dirty, my kind of girl!

I started a new book so I’m sure my day will be occupied.

I’m checking in with my friend Chris on “Contigo” every night on 81430 @ 00:00 zulu. I know a number of you said you would try to hear me on the 4 meg freq I gave a few days ago, however 4meg is only good for 800 miles at best, and I don’t think I’m within 800 miles of anyone. As I get farther from Contigo we will probably switch to 12 Alpha, or Bravo.

I caught a Dorado last night after I had dinner. He was only a foot long and I was surprised he hit my lure. I threw the little guy back to the sea, I’m sure he was pleased.

Most of my fresh fruits are history with the exception of a pineapple which I’ll eat today and a bag of limes that Maggie gave me before I left the Galapagos. It will be time to hit the tins shortly.

I’m really out in the middle of the sea.

Cheers and have a great day.

Alex

I’ve made 135 miles in the last 24hrs!

I was lying in bed after I sent in my log this morning and went back to my solar cabin. After a few minutes it seemed like a weird Laura ingles Wilder/Little house on the prairie nightmare. I crashed my F150 into the front doors of my solar cabin, let my dogs free, and torched the place. As I watched the place burn I clicked my heels, home again!

I’m back! I need to get my ship together!

I got up, tweaked my sails, and have been making 6 – 6.5 kts all day.

I’ll build the cabin later and die in it, but for now I’m sailing across the Pacific.

If I do too much I get exhausted quickly. It was really stupid of me to go out and drink and smoke a pack of cigarettes the way I did, I made my bed, and I’m laying in it. It’s not the first time I did something stupid.

If I keep up this pace I could make Hiva Oa in 20 days or so.

I’m still on the cipro even though I got a slew of Instant messages warning me about it. My body seems to be adjusting to it and I’m not wiggn’ so badly.

Today was a perfect sailing day. 13-15, and blue sky.

Cheers.

Alex

Yesterday was the pits.

As soon as I sent out my log the squalls came. They looked like angry fists in the sky approaching from the stern. They would shout at Namaste “What are you doing here”, “Get out of my way little boat”, “you have no right to be here”! Namaste would reply by saying “I’m sorry, I don’t speak SQUAL!, lets go sailing, lets go sailing…,” and she just kept on trucking through the 24-32 knot wind all day.

I was too exhausted to keep up the sail changes and decided to keep the main reefed to number three and control the power with the jib, this system has been working well and I’ve been screaming down wind between 5.5 to almost 7 knots.

The sea has built to a confused 10 + feet which is mostly coming from the port stern quarter. It is quite uncomfortable but I want to hold my course.

I started the cipro yesterday and I had a really bad reaction to it. I knew it would make me jittery as it has in the past but it seemed worse this time. I was having problems focusing and having a hard time holding it together. I swore I wouldn’t take any more but in the middle of the night my cough came back badly and I took another 500mg’s.

The deck is littered with flying fish. The sun is finally out, and I’m hoping the seas lay down a bit today. The wind has subsided to a pleasant and steady q13kts, and I’m making a respectable 5.3.

During the night I added a second floor to my solar cabin along with two German Shepards and an old beat up Ford 150 pick up. I spent a lot of time there last night, it’s starting to feel like my second home.

I was going to start 500mg of cipro twice a day starting this morning but I think I’ll push it off another 12hrs. I’m feeling a bit better and got a solid 7-8 hours of sleep last night. I’m hacking up nasty stuff and this leads be to believe I’m at the tail-end of whatever I picked up in the Galapagos. I’m trying to drink as much water as I can, take vitamins, and I’m going through my citrus fruit.

I haven’t used the motor for the past 30 hours, finally some steady wind! I haven’t needed to attend to the sails much which has been nice considering I’ve had no energy.

When I was in Colombia a few years ago I got deathly ill. At the time I didn’t speak Spanish well and I thought I had a case of Dengi fever, I could not communicate with the doctors well. Last year my friend said to rule out dengi because I had no rash, “you probably had malaria” she informed me! When I was admitted to the hospital I had a 105 fever and it was climbing, I was delirious and could not move about by myself. Yesterday I was worried that the malaria was coming back. If that was the case I don’t know that I’d make it through this crossing. My friend Roger (the one whose book we sell on the site) has reoccurring malaria, “It’s no joke Alex, seriously”!

Anyway, I’m feeling better today and I’m not as worried.

It is nice to be sailing along towards French Polynesia.

I’m going to take another easy day reading and sleeping if I can.

Cheers.

Alex

When I started from Panama I had 4000 miles on the table and I just broke 2600, yeehaaa!

The weather was up till around 13:00 then let down to next to nothing. I had to break out the drifter again. I sailed under the drifter for a few hours and the wind picked up to 8-10 and I took it down.

I’m currently on a heading of 251m making around 4kts.

I’m still not feeling great. If this continues I’ll break Into some antibiotics tomorrow. I think I have a slight fever as well.

I’m going to try an d sleep while it is calm. The horizon ahead of me is black.

Cheers, and good night.

Alex