I’ve made a decision!

The sun will continue to set over the Pacific for me, although tonight, it’s under heavy sky.

I’m not going to buy the Force 50!

I was able to raise the money “Thanks Chuck” and even find an interested buyer for Namaste here in Tahiti. I even went as far as finding a job in a shipyard close to the boat in Florida, but at the end of the day it’s me that’s pulling the plug, I never would have thought! I was just about to put Namaste in a slip and take a trip to Florida to wrap up the deal after my friends assessment of Creola.

My buddy drove 8 hours to check out Creola this morning and give her a detailed “once over”. She needs more work than I previously thought.  I knew her decks were shot, but after closer inspection the rudder, mainmast, bowsprit, mizzen boom, rigging and much of the interior sole need to be replaced. This is all aside from her needing new sails, electronics, and the motor hasn’t been started. At some point she took a hell of a beating. Much of the sail track is ripped up and bent, and she obviously took a big hit at the stern. I’ll have more pictures posted shortly. The thing that really breaks my heart is I know how to fix all this. I know I have the will, but after much calculating I realize the material costs will eat me alive. You know the old saying, “There are only three things needed to restore a sailboat, Time, Skill, and Money”. I have the first two. I was hoping determination would over come the latter, but I’ve lost hope. I know my OCD would carry me through the project and “by hook or by crook” I’d end up with a beautiful and sound ship, but at what cost I must ask myself? So many people offered to donate time and manpower to restore Creola, not to mention money. It made me think of friends working together to raise a barn. It means a lot to me and defines what project bluesphere is all about, “thanks guys”.

I have spent more hours dreaming about owning this boat then I care to admit but I need to let go. I’m old enough to know my weaknesses and strengths. I’m not a man driven by money, but by passion, and this can be a doubled edge sword when it comes to sailboats. To me, money is only good for one thing, “freedom”, that’s what a sailboat is, and you know what? I have it!

For a moment I felt better “I’m sailing to Kirabiti” I thought, but my elation soon faded and I still don’t feel centered. What I want more than anything is to stay put and work on my DVD but they won’t let me stay through cyclone season. I miss the freedom of South America. People don’t screw with you and respect your space, immigration is a breeze and it’s really “livable”. If it was up to the Tahitians they bask me in flowers, roast a pig, offer a daughter or two and say “Stay as long as you’d like”, but unfortunately the French influence is quite strict about things. I hear the people of Kirabiti are warm and friendly.

I want to shoot fish again. I’m afraid to eat fish from the reef here as so many are poison.

If you cant tell I’m a bit down.

Where does tomorrow go?

Here’s another video:

http://neo.projectbluesphere.com/video/K laundry.wmv

Peace, Love and “$#!T I really wanted that boat”!

– Alex