Changes

I had a good day hunting yesterday. I found a portion of the reef that is filled with caves and large fish. I came across the largest puffer I have ever seen, must have been twelve pounds. They are such funny fish. They have big sad eyes and remind me of a golden retriever without legs.  Not long after that and just out of my visibility I saw a large fish run and hide behind a rock. I knew it was a snapper by the way it moved and trail of sand it left in its wake. I took 4 deep breaths and as quietly as I could head for the rock. I had misjudged my air time and was feeling the need for it when I arrived at the rock about twenty-five feet down, but wasn’t going to allow myself another gasp as my trip to the surface would be the price of loosing this fish. Spear fishermen learn that their bodies reaction to grasp for air is something that can be manipulated as well the sense of panic associated with it.

I came slowly above the rock to see a really nice snapper. Not quite as fat as one I had shot in the San Blas about 6 weeks ago, but a nice fish and one that will feed me for a week. I came over the rock in such a way I was out of his vision. They can’t see so well above them. My spear was only nine inches from his head when I pulled the trigger and shot it just behind the eye line. A “brain” shot is really the best way to kill your prey. It minimizes the suffering of the fish, and it doesn’t fight and ruin the flesh around the wound fighting the spear.

The way in which I like to kill a fish is important. I have shot into schools of mullet knowing I’d hit something but it doesn’t bring much fun or honor to the hunt.

I cleaned my prize on Linton Island and brought some rotten bananas to the monkeys as a offering. They sat next to me for half an hour or so watching me clean my prize as usual. Everyone still warns me about them but we have an understanding. They recently killed a cruising family’s chiwawa and had eaten it in the trees. They have also attacked and bit many people. With me they sit peacefully, I don’t even carry a can of mace when I visit the island any more.

I have friends that I met in Jamaica. Guin liked to play with their little boy. We also hung out with them in Colombia and again in the San Blas. In Colombia we learned the mother was pregnant and there family was to expand.

I’m not a “social” guy and like to keep to myself. I’m careful of the people I let into my life. I’m kind of a “voyeur” if you will. I like to watch the world from a distance as I travel. I like to see it unaffected by my presence as I take photographs, video, and notes for my writing. It’s different when you have a child around. Although my friends with the little boy are really cool people, they are not someone I would have hung out with if it wasn’t for them having a child for Guin to play with. This is really a doubled edge sword. Children bring people into your life that you wouldn’t meet if it wasn’t for the presence of the children. In this case I’m glad my path crossed with this family.

They usually have so much energy around them, the boy loud, rambunctious, and FULL of life.

Their boat has been abandoned in the anchorage here for a few weeks, I’ve been checking on it when I pass to go to the reef. So strange I thought. I hope all is well with them?

They came to visit me in the dinghy the other night, I could feel something was wrong as they approached; the little boy was so quiet?

They had really dreadful news. They may have to abort their pregnancy at twenty weeks. They had been at the John’s Hopkins hospital in Panama City with specialists, and on the phone with specialists back in Sweden trying to determine if the unborn child was to be safe. There is too much fluid in the skull and seems to be hindering the growth of the brain.

After they left I had a “moment”. I really realized how small my problems were and the visit allowed me to really close a “door” behind me, and open another.

The following day I was able to do the dreadful task of packing up Sam and Guin’s things and clearing Splendid for our miles ahead. Shipping things to the states is expensive and Sam decided what I should ship, and what I should give away.

I brought a large box of toys and books to my friends that we had met in Jamaica. The little boy really light up and the rambunctious energy that he used to have surfaced once again, it made me smile as well as his parents.

“The Alchemist” is a really important book in my life and one which I am reading again. “To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only obligation”, a quote from the book and the concept of the story. Please, if you have the time turn off the TV for one night and read this book, I’m sure it is in every book store and easily accessible. If your looking for some perspective a believe that your dreams should be realized, read this book this week. Its an easy read and will only take a few hours. The author is Paulo Coelho. Butch, I want you to read this book!

Another quote from the book “The world conspires to help you when you’re on your path”, I know this to be true. It is my experience that when you’re on your path everything becomes quite easy and clear, I had forgotten this over the past years. I tried to grip things I should not have held on to so tightly, and my mind was distracted by the loud voices of our “system” and my heart.

There have been a number of things in the last few days that have set me free and I feel the “world” is conspiring to help me on my way. I feel like myself once again.

There is also a log I’ve been working on since before I started Project BlueSphere, it should have been the first log, but it is a thing I have been too ashamed of publishing. It will explain why I’m here and why I have the vision and will to do what I do. I only mention it now so that I may later find the strength to actually post it.

I had been feeling uncomfortable in Linton, this has changed. Splendid and I are where we should be for the moment.

I’ve also decided that I’m going to change the manner in which I “charter”. I don’t want to do “Family” charters, or any charters for that matter. I’m best one on one and teaching men the basic concepts of sailing and life on the sea. A man recently reached out and asked how much I would charge for three days, I know he doesn’t have much money. He is hungry for information about crossing the Pacific and I put a price on this, I feel humiliated by my action. He wants to set out on his journey next year. I will invite him today to be a guest on Splendid. I’m not going to ask money for my time anymore. When you return home please donate what you can, and if you can’t, don’t. I am not hungry and have so much. So many people have reached out to me only to realize they couldn’t afford my time, never will I act like this again!

I will post videos on a regular basis as soon as I’m able, but again, I will not charge for them. If you enjoy them or my website, it is up to you to donate. I had an Idea in the Pacific; if you have been reading my words for a while you will remember my “Operation TRAKS (Totally Random Acts of Kindness)” concept. Pay it forward if you will (a really cool movie). This is where I will start. Never will I put a price on the quest for freedom. That being said I like my space and have a path to follow. I will only accept one visitor every five or six weeks. If you’re interested in joining me for a week please send me an email and we can start the process. I’ve also reexamined the list on my previous page and if I’m not asking money for charters I’m not so worried about my big refrigerator or paint, although I will paint soon. The beer might be warm and the meals simple. I live on stew and fish, it isn’t so bad and for this I don’t need a big refrigerator. My guests will eat as I do. Splendid is not a “vacation” package she is my home. I will not insert her into any “fleet” or put a price on what our time is worth. My goal is to only leave more in our wake then when we arrived.

Forgive me if my concepts and ideas have been scattered lately, I’m just finding my way again. I am certain that these decisions will never leave me hungry and allow me the peace and freedom I seek.

There have been poisonous people in my life lately that have called me “crazy” in their words and emails to me, and not “fit to be a father”. This may be so, but I leave you in my past. I posted something I shouldn’t have the other day and took it down as soon as I did. My intentions are not to hurt anyone, no matter how angry I have been.

Socrates said “an examined life is not worth living”. I have contemplated this hard over the past week. If we don’t examine our lives and actions we become weak of body, mind, and soul and energy that other men can spin, manipulate, and govern. Many of you know my views and beliefs about “society”. I choose a different path.

I’m also reexamining whether or not I want to bring discussions of politics and religion to the table. Religion and politics may be the two strongest forces that hinder the growth of our freedom, perhaps we need to understand them better.

As always unbiased comments are appreciated.

Cheers everyone.

Sail far and live slowly.

Alex

Published in Alex Dorsey