I’m sorry for not posting lately, but this last month has been exceptionally arduous. This is the first time I haven’t wanted to share my feelings, but I suppose I must say something.
I don’t think Samantha and Guinevere will return home.
No matter how hard I wish it I’m not Guinevere’s father and he has made life quite impossible for me. Or perhaps it’s my entire fault? I don’t really know but I suppose it was inevitable. So many of my friends told me this would happen but I’m a willful man and had to try. I believe failure is the absence of effort, and by not acting on the chord of my heart when I fell in Love with Samantha would have been dishonest to my spirit. I pray that I haven’t been too selfish.
In the end…, I fear sailing away with my girls was just a dream.
Samantha was the most beautiful soul I’ve ever known. My time with her was a precious gift and I’m a very fortunate man to have shared so much Love, tenderness, years, and miles with such a lovely woman. She is truly exceptional! Guinevere brought a light to my heart that I didn’t know existed. I will miss them…, endlessly!
I do feel so very low and need time to pull myself together. I’m a bit lost and have misplaced my bearings. I don’t know what to do or where to go, and I’m quite confused.
I think I’ll go back to the Pacific or cross the Atlantic after the New Year. Truthfully I feel like tossing the compass overboard and sailing into the sea for a spell, but for now I’m going to return to the San Blas. I know a little island where no one else goes. The anchorage is a bit tough to get into and rugged but once inside it has a protected lagoon. There is good spear fishing and solitude. I believe it will provide the supplies and time I need reflect and heal. I will leave after I receive a package from the states in a week or so.
Samantha, if I’ve hurt you in any way I’m so very sorry.
That’s all I’m going to say about this, I don’t want to open a discussion.
I’m sorry for sounding so dark and will start posting again when I have something positive to offer.
Peace, Love, and, …?
Alex
Published in Alex Dorsey
Dude……. So sorry. No cliches, no sayings. I feel you and feel for you.
Good luck Alex.
Peace, love & solitude.
What did the shark say to the clown? —- You taste funny! All the best my Bro
WOW man, so sorry. Women, ya’ know?
Alex, Things will be Okay. Just hang in there sweetheart, We all love you out here. Please write to us.
Love you!
Katie in Memphis tn.
Oh Alex, my heart goes out to you man. I don’t want to dweal on this situation I know how empty and lost you must feel. You tried man and for a brief time you had the wind , love and joy all in one beautiful package. Thats more then many of us will ever experiance in our life times. Feel joy in what you had not in what you lost.
Life can be a circle.
Curtis from Canada
Keep your head up, your a fantastic person who is doing what many of us cant. Your too good of a person to be held down. Go to San Blas and recover and we will enjoy reading of your travels….
Lee
Keep your head up, your a fantastic person who is doing what many of us cant. Your too good of a person to be held down. Go to San Blas and recover and we will enjoy reading of your travels….
Lee
“You tried man and for a brief time you had the wind , love and joy all in one beautiful package. Thats more then many of us will ever experiance in our life times. Feel joy in what you had not in what you lost.
Life can be a circle.”
This guy said it the best. You got to ride the big wheel,, most of us won’t. I have a mean wife and a bad job I hate
. I would trade places with you tonight, heart break and all. Dude…. your free,, I’m not… Love to ya.
I know its a cliche, but better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all… You are not alone,, which I can’t say was the case during my breakup. You have more adventure, more life ahead of you than 99% of us stuck back stateside.
Once again,, I would trade with you tomorrow if it was possible. Count your blessings, mean angry sexless wife vs your sailboat,,, take your pick………
having said all that,, Do you want to swap your boat for a boring job and a mean angry sexless wife?.. Let me know,, I am ready to give you money as long as you take my wife, and the boring job………and I get your sailboat.
Alex: Wow! I didn’t see that coming. In any case, Pat and I are with you in Spirit. If there is anything I can do from this end, just drop me a line. We’ll do what we can.
Just know that you are an amazing person. You were truly blessed to have spent time with them and I’m sure they feel the same way. Time always heals, so take it and pull it together. Many more adventures will grace your path. You have a ton or two of support and friends out there in this world, so try to find some comfort. We Love you.
Cherish every precious moment.
Logos ready. Just let me know when you’re up to it. No hurry!
Be at peace Amigo…
Capt. Paul
s/v Panacea
Take your time, post when your up to it, we’re not going anywhere
…
Thank you for all the kind words.
I spent last night watching our videos over the last three years with my Abulio (grandfather in Spanish (Panamanian rum)) and I believe Sam and I had a real go of it. We did it all, loved, fought, cried, and laughed. I think we lived more in the last years than most do in their lives. I’m going to cut a really nice video together for them, we’ve had some beautiful moments together. Her and Guin are the finest people I know. Women right? That wasn’t the case here. If anyone didn’t make it work it was me. I’ll take full responsibility as Sam was more than graceful, kind, and loving. She did nothing wrong, and our breaking up had nothing to do with a lack of Love on either of our parts. It was just circumstance. There is something in my path that makes me a single-hander, I don’t know what it is, but my road is in the sea is alone. My Spanish friends on Illusion used to call me “Lobo Soletirio” (Loan Wolf), its just the way it is.
I want to send some good vibes out to Sam as she’s out of her home (Splendid) and back with her parents, and thank God for that. I know she’s feeling really bad as well but her parents are also two of the best people I know, and I know she’s getting the love and support that she needs. I’d be worried if she was somewhere alone or back in Fort Myers.
I need some time to pull my s#it together and screw my head back on.I’m going to spend some time with my Abulio feeling sorry for myself but it’s just part of the process. The real bummer is I need to spend a few more weeks here in Linton and deal with things I don’t really have the energy to deal with .I need to get my papers (cruising permit) in order, and take a bus ride (3 day trip) to Costa Rica. I want a fresh 6 month stamp into the country so I can have some real time in the islands not worrying about the stupid stuff.
Thanks again everyone, really!
Alex sorry to hear your life has gotten turned upside down. Been there and would still do it again even if I knew the outcome in advance. One of the best videos I’ve seen to watch when you are feeling down is this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciYk-UwqFKA . Wish I had half the attitude this guy does.
Alex, throw yourself into dealing with those things in Linton,go do the 3 day trip, sitting around will do no good for anyone. Time heals all, remember why you came out here on Namaste in the first place? You are in a good place, it’s ok to greive. If you want to, you could still come stay with me here in Tampa for a week, unlimited hot fresh water showers, home cooked meals, but the swimming pool is saltwater… ;) sailing dreams, Warren
PS: go WAY back and read some of your first logs.
This morning I read many words, you write, and others write to you. In the end, you and you alone know your own soul. Thru life we allow some people to get close enough to look into oue soul, for the love that they give us at the time, gives us comfort and so we open up our soul to them. There’s not a thing wrong with that, but remember, Alex you still control that window. Your such a strong person, (Loan Wolf) are not, your life was meant to be crossing the big blue waters. That doesn’t mean you not allowed to love. So don’t feel like your out there alone my freind. Life is full of feelings, so open up your heart and feel our love that we try to share with you. We’ve supported you from the start, Wow and what a ride it’s been, I can only imagine what’s next. Our prays go out to you, Our support grow stronger, but most of all you’ve faced the inner most part of who you are, you know that now. Your about to open a new charpter in your life, Do it slow, do it there, do it with your heart and Splendid. Take care Alex
Goethe once said, ” Joy is the ability to feel things deeply.” This is life, consider the horror of feeling nothing. Good luck brother
Alex, I have followed you on this adventure for so many years, I can’t remember now. But my friend, I feel I must now chime in where as I have never before. You HAVE lived the dream! You HAVE set goals and accomplished them. You HAVE been kind enough to allow all of us to follow and “play along” through your website, videos, etc. But, the only static in life is CHANGE! If you truly love this woman and child, then go to them! Be with them! Love them! I have lived aboard, but not cruised. I will regret not doing that. But I will never regret it so much as not to realize the blessing I have with my wife and two kids! Life is meant to be shared! And you do share through your adventures and website. But, there is a sharing needed more on the heart level with that special someone and not just “followers” on your website! Like I said, if you truly love Sam and Guin….GO TO THEM! Don’t live to regret this!
Alex, Guin’s father is in Ft. Myers and he loves his little girl very much. If you were in his shoes’ wouldn’t you want Guin close – not in New Jersey? Guin’s father is a very nice man who accomodated Sam’s wishes to the point not seeing his daughter for neary ten months. He deserves some time.
Anon,
Sam financially supported Michael Kiniry while they were together and through his internship at NPR, She is why he has his career. In return, he wouldn’t give her a divorce, offered her endless guilt and not a dime in nearly three years for the well being of his daughter. He came to visit her two times the year that we were cruising in Florida. All we asked was that he could see Guin whenever he wanted to and for him to pay for his travel expenses, that’s it. He took Guin for the summer and would not pay for them to return home. I don’t disagree with you that he is a “Nice Man” though, I just don’t think he is much of a man. I could go on about a lot more, but I don’t think Sam would want me to, so I wont. I sent Mike my own words, and that is enough for me. As far as I’m concerned he walks amongst the smallest of men I’ve ever known. I also don’t think he would appreciate you opening a public discussion as I have no problem sharing my feelings on my website. I’ll stop here.
My thoughts are with you my friend.
Hey Alex,
Changing the subject for a while. it would be great to see a short video clip of your beautiful spot in the San blas.Or even the long bus ride in Panama to get your papers in order. This could be a way to occupie your time while you start to recover.
Just a thought.
Sail Save
Curtis
hoist anchor and sail to cartagena…problem solved temporarily……yea yea not funny…but still a good option….mavis is going there in january….me too maybe
Alex,
I’d like to offer my regards. I know how a loss can take over one’s whole life. Try to remember, with change comes opportunity. This my friend is an opportunity, it’s up to you to find it! Take care and as an owner of two Bluesphere DVDs I can’t wait for another.
Ive fall en and i cant get up! Call me Dic Head
Sorry Alex for the pain that you are going through. Keep your head up things will get better. Remember that life is a journey of up’s and downs.
Alex,
We haven’t met, I’m just one of your long-time readers, like before Isabel. Anyway, I’ve been married 26 years to the same woman, 3 kids, been around the world with the military, learned a lot along the way. Just wanted to offer food for thought, based on the assumption that you and Sam are still in love and it’s only Guin’s father demanding access to his child that is causing Sam to stay stateside.
If you love each other as deeply as you say, I can’t imagine choosing your cruising over your relationship with her. You can have both. Cruise back to Ft. Myers or New Jersey or where ever the heck she is and set up shop. You can blast out to Bermuda and back in a couple weeks. You can cross the Atlantic and back over a summer, and still be with her the vast majority of the time. You know the coast from Mystic south, it’s real pretty north as well. Cruise the east coast awhile and take the bus back home frequently. On your death bed, will you regret not having sailed farther and blogged more, or the fact that you let that sweet heart get away so you could do so. Bottom line, if you’re doing anything, even one little thing, because of this online audience you’ve generated or even your cruising friends then shame on you. Do what you want to do, not what you think we want you to do.
Just my $.02