I have something to say sooner than I had expected. I believe there is a point in my ramblings, at least one that I am looking for.
I’m still in Isla Linton contemplating the last years of my life. I’ve done my fair share of drinking and feeling sorry for myself but I believe it is coming to an end.
I like this anchorage but one of the things I dislike is I haven’t been spear fishing. Some company in the last 4 years has come and put fish farms in the local water. My friend Ben from Zazoo told Sam and I he was spear fishing near the farms and was confronted with a large tiger shark, he said it was unaggressive though. I guess the mass amounts of fish in the pens create an energy that attract large pelagic (ocean going) sharks to the area from the sea. So this is the reason I haven’t been spear fishing. Fear of the sea has never been my weakness though, these days I fear petulance has been.
We’ll, I decided to go anyway as I really want to shoot some fish and I’ve been confronted with pelagic sharks in the past. I’ve never really had a problem. I can also think on the reef. Reef sharks however are a daily occurrence. When Sam and I were in the San Blas there was a large, 6’ or so nurse shark under Splendid, I told her to go in and make friends. She looked at me funnily but bravely did it. They swam around together at arms length for ten minutes or so. She really enjoyed the experience. There is an honesty, beauty, and natural order in the sea. How I wish it was so in our society.
Well I had a strange experience on the reef today near the fish farms. I shot two nice fish in less than 5 minutes. The fish were offering themselves to my spear, two shots through the eye. It was odd. I could have easily shot ten more. No big sharks to be found. I’ve had pretty bad luck spear fishing since I left Tahiti and it got me thinking deeply. My internal energy has changed, I always thought I was just out of practice or I was having bad luck. Why have I been so un-centered in the past years?
When I entered Tahiti I was the humble zen-master of the entire world. Fish, women, opportunities, and coconuts even fell to my feet when I was thirsty. It was my energy. I was at my natural center, and thus the world gravitated towards me. I believe this happens when people walk their true path.
My life changed as I was drinking a Hinano (Tahitian beer), and was checking out a beautiful 70 foot steal schooner underneath a fine Polynesian sky. You could go back and find the log (July 07ish), I believe there is a picture of the boat, she was a beauty!
Anyway, at that moment I decided I needed a bigger boat. Before that moment I was centered, contempt, and calm. After that moment my mind wandered. I sent emails, made phone calls, and sold Namaste. It was difficult to squander a price for a little ship that had taken me so far and I loved so much. After that my energy in Raratonga, Bora-Bora and the long miles west were filled with delivering Namaste to Australia. After Australia my mind was on Tokyo and finishing my film. After that I was back in the states buying and putting Splendid together. And after that I fell in Love with Samantha. Talk about a moment of sheer beauty; the first time I laid my eyes on her I was speechless and stunned like a deer in the head lights. She is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, inside as well! I believe that to this day. After that I was worried about our “freedom”, and more and more things became difficult, regardless of the copious amount of love in my life.
In order to add insult to injury, I feel I was treated badly by my home the years I was back, thus depleting my internal energy even more. I had 4, or 5 experiences where various police would pull me over and harass me (for money) on the water for some reason or another, 4, or 5 more in the car. Twice I was boarded in my home by the coast guard, and once very aggressively at two in the morning. There was a large shouting match between myself and an inflatable full of Coast Guard kids, 7 or so (none over 22). They had guns, they tried to board me and I stopped them! My instinct was to reach for an assault rifle because my women and child were on board. They asked me if I was armed and I said “in my closet at arms length”. Sam was unclothed and Guinevere sleeping in the v-birth. I don’t care who it is, I don’t want 7 armed boys or men entering my home at two in the morning or anytime for that matter, is that so much to ask? I think they were training or something and Splendid was the target? These boys were very aggressive and Sam, wrapped in a sheet, finally calmed us all down. She has a magically peaceful way about her; it’s quite beautiful to witness. In the end one boy timidly boarded for about thirty seconds to satisfy his pride and I swallowed mine, something I should have done much sooner, but how can we live in a community where we are to fear the ones who are paid to protect us?
What happened in the years I’d left my home?
A few months earlier a police officer was shot in the face and killed just a block away from where Sam was working in Fort Myers. A few weeks after that Sam’s home broken into. A few months after that my sister was attacked by police in her home in Atlanta. She was having a “lunar eclipse” party and I’m sure they were being too loud and drinking, she’s young. She was tazed three times and her arm was broken (above the elbow) in her own living room. I don’t care how small the officers were it doesn’t take 3 cops with tazers and a broken arm to take my little sister down. How do you break an arm above the elbow?
In all my travels I’ve never witnessed such aggression as I did the years I was back home. What the hell is going on?
All I wanted was to return to my zen-state with my two beautiful girls and give them the peace and safety I once knew.
A friend of Sam and mine once told us “Freedom is not something anyone can give you; it’s something you demand and take”! It’s true, ‘freedom isn’t a coordinate, or a country, it’s a state of mind’! It’s not in the San Blas, Bora-Bora, or in America. Mine was with my girls, and in the sea!
Oh how I wanted Sam and Guin to live in total peace like I once had. Sadly, in the end it was not a gift I could give them.
Looking back our situation was impossible no matter how much Sam or I wanted it to work. Guin was away from her biological father, and he refused to come visit her. He doesn’t like to travel. If I had only met Sam before Guin I thought for the briefest moment, but then there would be no Guin, and I really do love that little girl so. It was an impossible situation from the beginning but one that had to take its course. I hope it was all for the best, and I pray I left more in my wake than I took.
Perhaps Love is the absence of reason?
Sam and I thought her father not having to pay child support and giving them their freedom and such an opportunity was enough. All we asked is for him to pay for his travel expenses and see his daughter whenever he wanted. I suppose it wasn’t enough and he was quite unhappy with the arrangement. It’s so difficult when a child is involved isn’t it? A conundrum! Anyway my energy dwindled even more and I became lost and un-centered during this time.
Speaking of energy, I had an experience in the Bahamas with Sam and Guin that comes to mind. Guin was snorkeling in-between us. And as always my mind was on shooting a fish which is impossible with a newly turned 5 year old thrashing about. Sam saw it first…, a beautiful and majestic spotted eagle ray entered our space. Its wing span must have been 6-8 feet. It was inquisitive, timid, and interested in us. It was coming to say hello. Sam and Guin were giving it such permission through their energy and curiosity. I saw something large out of the corner of my eye and looked at it. I didn’t make any sharp movements or sounds, but it tensed and took a defensive pose as soon as I was aware of it. Before I realized what it was, and harmless, my gut reaction was to protect, and it felt it like a ton of bricks. Like an invisible shock wave through the water it realized young was around me and it shouldn’t continue its inquisition. Sea creators are so sensitive to such energy.
When we talk about energy we think of women in health food stores wearing purple and burning incense. But there is real energy, not magnetic or electronic that we just don’t have a meter for yet. Perhaps one day we could go to harbor freight or home depot and pick up a love, peace, or perhaps a fear meter. But for now it is a mystery that we know nothing about, and mood rings can only measure such things.
If we could take one of those futuristic love meters and place it between myself and Sam it would peg and blow a fuse. The rub is our “peace” meters would always be clouded as Guin had a different father and fish would offer themselves to me no more. Her father was so unhappy with our lifestyle, and his negative energy hung in our gallows every day. I don’t blame him for it anymore, it is just the way it was.
Why must life be so?
I thought it would take longer. I thought I’d have to drown at the bottom of a rum bottle for months or years in order to find peace again, but the fish have given me a great gift. They are my peace meter, it’s so simple really. They offered themselves to me because I’m where I should be, and at the natural center of my spirit. I believe we are so lost without nature. Our senses are dull in society. The fish know more about peace and order than our governments will ever know. If my girls could only be with me, however this is too much to ask!
Michael (Guin’s dad) called me an egotist the other day. I don’t really know how to take that? I’ve called him much worse so I’m not pointing any fingers but perhaps he’s right? Do I believe that men should measure themselves against each other, I do. I know that scale should not be money, power, or fame though. It should be strength of heart, honor, honesty, and something I’ve been lacking lately, humility. In my years at sea I always prided myself on my peace and humbleness. Lately I’ve been fighting for something I could not win and have become a bear, especially to Sam, I’m sorry for that!
In response to my harsh words in an email I sent Michael he replied “I’ve learned long ago not to argue with someone unless they’re also willing to lose”. I suppose that’s like saying “only fight the battles you can win” right? I guess that’s it in a nutshell! The difference between him and I, and I most men for that matter. I believe we should fight the battles we believe in, no matter the cost. I suppose that would make me belligerent, stubborn, and not the wiser man? If we only fight the battles we can win though, how small does our world get, and what kind of men do we become? I believe that kind of attitude makes us feeble, all be it the wiser. I’m not a wise man. If I was wise I’d still have my girls, and have bent my beliefs. I believe with every inch of my soul we must be true to our hearts, and walk our paths!
When a large shark enters your area it’s been my experience he will pass you head on. It looks you in the eye to sum up your energy. I suppose if you were to flail about and run you might get attacked? Fight the battles you can win right? I usually will make a small gesture to swim just a little closer. I also carry a .223 power head with me which would probably be just enough to piss off such a predator.
My precious Samantha caught in the middle of Guin’s father, and my egotistical beliefs of freedom. If I had been more pliable I’d still have them but I would not be me, and I know that would be dishonest to Sam. Even If I returned to cruise back in the states our peace meters would never ring true again. My God I do Love them so. This has been such a difficult time for me, Sam and I don’t talk anymore, this is hard. I wish I could cut out my heart out and cast it to the depths. A river of my tears will always flow in the sea for them. The truth is Sam and Guin deserve a much better, wiser, and practical man than I can be. This realization is even harder.
If you truly love something you must set it free. I believe that is all I can do.
My head cleared a bit on the reef today. Sea water washed my tears away as I had cried in my mask, they taste the same you know, and I made a nice fish soup for dinner. Am I an egotist for believing I could sail away with Sam and Guin, perhaps, but I had to try, it’s my nature!
I do so believe in the cruising family though and will write about it more in the future. I am however single-hander that is to sail, write, and film the sea alone, I will make peace with that at some point.
I believe I have the right to govern myself. I also believed I had the right to live free with Sam who wanted the same thing for her daughter, how crazy is that? I supposed if you put us in a court room, our peers they would judge Sam and my dreams impractical, as most of “society” would. If I am going to be judged by anyone let it be by the reef!
Sam is really the best woman I know, and I know she will find her way with Guin. In anger I told her I didn’t think she was a strong woman and I am so humbly wrong. I don’t agree with all her decisions, nor she with mine. We met an impasse in our lives and such are the dealings at the end of a relationship. I was small for saying such a thing, I’m sorry Samantha!
The plight of a single mother is one I know all too well. My father left when I was 4 and I watched my mother try to find a man, and father for me her whole life. Men came and went, it broke my heart because I knew I was the reason they didn’t stay. She was also such a beautiful woman. She passed away alone at the young age forty-two. Perhaps this is why I hug on to Samantha and Guin so, over- protectively?
I pray Sam finds Love again and that he is more than me, and his lifestyle more to the liking of Guinevere’s father.
Michael, Samantha deserves her freedom; please give it to her from this moment forward. She deserves the right to live in New Jersey near her family, please support this. You know if you ask her to stay in Fort Myers she will agree as she is more unselfish that you and I put together could ever aspire to be in ten lifetimes. Please put an end to the guilt. She has no family in Fort Myers. I ask this heart broken, humble, and without my girls. Do not make a judge bind her away from her family. You must take responsibility to travel a bit for the mother of your child. She has always been good to you.
I’ve found a little peace on the reef today; I pray Sam will find hers.
I have not been writing from my heart since Tahiti, which will change. I know my ramblings have nothing to do with cruising and I apologize for that. These are the last words I will write about matters of my heart. I just needed to express myself.
Peace, Love, and humility.
– Alex
Published in Alex Dorsey
Interesting post Alex. I thought your posts for quite a while have been forced perfection and that has made them a bit boring. In this post I see that you have an amazing ability to be both honest and self-reflective. I sincerely look forward to following your future adventures.
It stung to read about your mother’s plight in trying to find a father for you, a plight I know only too well.
Please don’t stop writing about matters of the heart. That is the common tread that binds us all to each other.
Your web sight is not just about your sailing. It’s about your life and all of the people and places in it. It’s not just about the latest gadget or repair it’s about Alex Dorsey. I had hoped very much that you had found love and that love could travel with you but relationship are very, very complicated with children and seperation / divorce. I think you had the vision of what could be and kept trying to figure out how to make it work, without giving up who and what you are. Maybe you could be with your girls if you gave up the life you lead but that is not your heart and trying to live a life that is untrue would take away the Alex they love. You are a fixer. Look at you logs. You fix everything! LOL. And you damn near do. You wanted to fix this but sometimes there is no fix in the works. It seems to me you gave your best to make it work out. It may not seem so right now but from the outside looking in it seemed you were pretty commited. Sam also has things that she cannot compromise and that is the rub. I hope the two of you can find some peace and remember all the good you have had together and celebrate that part of your relationship. One thing I know for sure, from my own mistakes, is you have to be true to who you are. I think you have done fine all along. Take care, Kirk
Alex I have been following your blogs for years and have both your DVD’s.
I can remember like it was yesterday the way i would feel to see a new blog or a short video clip. I know i too cried when you reached Hiva Oa. Man that brings back a lot of memories. You see that is a life long dream of mine and to see you do it brought so much joy. When you would blog about the days events on board you never talked about SSB radios or types of sails. All this technical stuff. You expressed your true feelings and I could tell and feel that had found an inner peace that so many of us dream about.
Do you remember the Ubber Death cloud? You expressed what it was like to be followed by that thing for days and days. Then when you finally left it behind i could see the joy in your face. That is what i dream to experiance and in a very small way you let me experiance that thru your words and emotions. Please once the time is right. Get back out there. Conquer this world for us. And live with Peace, love and even Coconuts.
Cheers
Mate
Hey Alex, I’ve been following your story for quite a few years, we’ve emailed a bit in the past and I believe you used some of my music for your 2nd dvd.
I’m not quite sure how to say what I feel because I know I have the dissenting opinion here. But ever since Sam and Guin came into your life, I’ve always felt something wasn’t right.
Straight to the point, I can’t blame Guin’s father for wanting his daughter back. I have a daughter a few months younger than Guin and I found it painful to read some of the posts where you refer to Guin as ‘your girl’. I know what you meant when you wrote it and I know it was genuine and honest. However, I still can’t help but put myself in Guin’s father’s shoes and wonder how he felt when he read your posts. It stirred up a lot of emotion in me and I found myself frustrated at times reading the logs. I can very much imagine what he felt. I’ve always wanted to say something, but never did…. you know, it’s the internet… Almost emailed you a few times, but kept my nose out of your business. Sorry, couldn’t keep it out forever….
For me, no other man would be successful in taking my girl from me and try to be a father to her. I don’t know how Guin’s father ever agreed to allow her to sail away with someone else with no hope for seeing her for years. Sorry to say, but that should never have happened. There is a pride that goes along with being a father that can’t be bartered or traded off. Maybe Guin’s dad didn’t fully comprehend it, maybe he slipped. But now it seems he understands his loss and he needs to rectify it.
This guy has the right to see his daughter grow up and be a dad to her. Maybe you would have been a better father, maybe you could have given her a more enriched life, but it’s not a contest. He’s her father, she should grow up knowing him. I hope he steps up to the plate and does good by her.
Sorry I don’t have comforting words for you. But, you’re strong and can carry yourself through difficult times. Comforting words from an internet reader wouldn’t help much anyways. You’ll find the right thing within yourself.
I wish the best for you.
Peace always,
Dave is correct. I am a divorced father of a beautiful 16-yr old girl and have fought every day of my life to be in her life. Alex, we all love you brother. You know that. I think you should get back to sailing. I would hit the coconut milk run this spring. Cast off the lines of sorrow. And don’t fall in love with any women with children. Peace bro.
Dave,
Your absolutely right, inlay the rub. I had tried so hard to be friends with Guin’s father. He has slept in my home, we have had beers and played pool. The truth is he’s not a bad guy. He’s not my kind of guy, but so is the way of life. He absolutely has the right to his daughter I had just hoped compromise on both our parts would allow Samantha to raise Guin the way she wanted. I’ve tried to protect Samantha with all my heart and give her what she wished but Guin’s relationship with her father will always separate us, and such is life.
I came to the internet this morning to erase this post. I said things about being home (my country) that I should not have said. Not because they didn’t happen or I don’t believe them but because I’ve always promised that I would never speak of religion or politics as I don’t want to segregate the men who wonder here looking for inspiration or freedom.
I also don’t believe this post inspiring. My personal goals are to “inspire, and aspire”. Right now I need to do some aspiring and don’t feel I have anything to give.
Thank you for your honesty Dave, you are the reason I’m not erasing this post. Right now my refuge lay on the reef and that is where I want to spend my time healing. I need to try and find the strength to finish my projects on Splendid so I might make my way to the Pacific by March. Spotty dogs, we are thinking alike :)
I want to go and finish what I had started. In order to do that I have so much to do and need to go make some cash. I need a drifter (sail), editing computer and new camera. I also need to do something about my main sheet as it is attached to my mizzen and I really don’t like the way it is rigged. It’s also about a grand to go through the canal but I’m sure I could scrounge up a few people who would pay a few bucks to come down for the experience.
Thanks for all the words.
Writing is not just something we do to communicate with others, but with ourselves as well. There is a catharsis to writing, as you have clearly shown. But there is also a realization of the similarities and an understanding that we are not alone in these thoughts when we have the privilege to read the personal feelings and thoughts of others.
I am indeed interested in your wiring projects, your fishing exploits, your interesting destinations, and your little projects as you struggles to make a dream come true in a world of practical realities. But just as important and interesting to those of cooped up ashore are the emotions and thoughts that go along with making the dream a reality.
Thank you.
Alex,
A couple of thoughts.
Everything you say about Sam and Guin is so true! In the hour and a half we spent over cheeseburgers in Stuart I could tell.
You are one of the most self-reflective people I have ever known. That is a BIG-TIME sign of a mentally healthy individual. You are far from being an unhealthy egoist. Confident—Yes! Cocky—No way.
Your assessment of the law enforcement scene in the US is spot on. Individual liberty and privacy is vanishing here quickly. I see it even though I am here full time and the rate of change is slow. Most people here DON’T see it. (Frog in the pot of slowly heating water theory). You see it so clearly because your prolonged absence makes the rate of change obvious. You are in a better place for the life you seek.
Re: Internal Energy. 10 years ago I would have said you were full of BS on that topic. Today, I could not agree with you more! (I like to think I am capable of evolving my views). Get you internal game back on and everything else will fall into place.
It is so easy to fall into the self-doubting trap. Have faith. You know how great life is when you do.
I will see you one day underway and we will pay tribute to Neptunus Rex together.
A-Man
Cool man. Glad you took my meaning the right way, it was difficult to write.
I like what SpottyDog said, “Don’t fall in love…” Find the right girl, then JUMP in love. Hollywood would have us believe that love is something we can’t control. That’s BS!! Love is the decision to commit yourself to someone. I don’t think of it as an emotion, but rather a choice. The emotion comes from the happiness and pride of making a relationship work. It’s heaven when it works correctly. That’s my philosophy anyways…
The Pacific sounds nice. Someday, we’ll bump into you out there….
Cheers,
On fighting to win, fight for what you believe. Then, regardless of the outcome, you have remained true to your heart.
Now, speaking of sulfation, check thus stuff out:
http://www.inoxlube.com/inox-products/inox-mx2-battery-conditioner/
Its only about 8 bucks per battery. Good luck man.
Wow, I really don’t know what to say……..I feel kind of wierd, it feels like I have known 2 Alex’s……the one that was half way around the world, and by the way, what about that dark haired girl in the photos with you back then? The Alex that put up videos all the time and on and on. Then there is the Alex that, lately,(for a year maybe) has not really been the same old Alex. I have been happy for you, cuz you appeared happy, I didn’t loose my inspiration thoug, that you had given me a couple years earlier, I tried to keep on course and get out “there”. HEY MAN, YOU ARE STILL THE ALEX OF PEACE LOVE AND COCONUTS!!! And I am out “here” on my way !!! Ya know, not just because of you, we have hoped for this for 12 years but the kick in the ass I got from you a few years ago WE ARE OUT HERE ON OUR WAY, WE ARE ON THE ERIE CANAL AND HEADED FOR THE HUDSON RIVER AND THE STATUE OF LIBERTY AND THEN FLORIDA AND BEYOND, WITH A BOTTLE OF MAPLE SYRUP WITH YOUR NAME ON IT !!! Maybe a bottle of wine if the 70 I brought hold out.
Anyway, you are you and I hate to say it , but , if it is gonna happen, it’s gonna happen out there!!!
sorry to end with such a sappy line but, hey, go kill a fish!!!!
“WE” still love ya too :)
Dean,ooops, (now)Capt. Dean, peace love and coconuts from all of “US”
http://www.sailblogs.com/member/blowinganddrifting.com/?xjMsgID=143645
Strong words man. I’m glad you didn’t delete the post, very inspiring. I haven’t checked in for awhile but like a lot of people here I have been following you for a long time, since I saw Namaste in Charleston SC. You have a lot of friends, Roll on brother!
Writing is not just something we do to communicate with others, but with ourselves as well. There is a catharsis to writing, as you have clearly shown. But there is also a realization of the similarities and an understanding that we are not alone in these thoughts when we have the privilege to read the personal feelings and thoughts of others.
I am indeed interested in your wiring projects, your fishing exploits, your interesting destinations, and your little projects as you struggles to make a dream come true in a world of practical realities. But just as important and interesting to those of cooped up ashore are the emotions and thoughts that go along with making the dream a reality.
Thank you.
Alex:
Well way to go. You are on the right track as far as I’m concerned. Love is all there is. We all live in it all the time, the sea, marine creatures, people, places… It really is all about Love.
You did exactly what you needed to do at that time of your life. You experienced what it had to offer you and now you move on a better man for it. You are a master teacher as well as a master student.
Congratulations.
Continue continuing on Amigo. It was all good.
Capt. Paul
s/v Panacea
Oh Alex,
I am so sorry to read of your losses. I’ll not address the custody and control issues between Sam and Guin’s father, nor your actions in the situation. Those, my friend, are a moot point and not within your influence. Our perfect lives are often interrupted by the reality of those we love. The length of time we devote to the disruption is certainly necessary to heal our souls and hearts, but we do heal. We may never be just as we were before, but remember, all things in this life happen for a reason. Whether it’s our personal growth or the maturity of our souls; I cannot know the answer.
In March 2007 I was planning my departure, sold my worldly possessions and prepared to embark on the journey of a lifetime – a new life at sea! My father became ill, mother needed help to care for him and I stepped up to be “the adult”. In November 2007, Dad died. My brother’s death came shortly after in January 2008. I drank myself into a 363 day stupor before I came to see their departures were not the problem, I was. Now, 20 months later, with clarity of head and heart, I have buried my mother. With great peace I look back on this journey to “adulthood” I traveled.
We cannot control the forces of the wind, we only redirect them and use the power to propel us in the chosen direction. I feel the pain this journey has placed in your heart. Reflect on the good, the bad and the indifferent – and be the person you are meant to be; whoever that is.
Thank you for sharing your story. As much as I wanted to be at sea these last few years, life changed my course. For that I am thankful. Please don’t dwell on the “what ifs” or the coulda-woulda-shoulda’s and just be.
Wishing you peace, love and many tomorrows,
Annie
Alex,
Thank you, Thank you Thank you, for opening my eyes to the sea, to a life I know I can’t live, but I love dreaming about. From the frist time I found your web site, I ‘ve been hooked. Your first DVD was my brithday gift, your second DVD was my Christmas gift. Now I’m waiting on a new DVD, which I know you want to build. Life has shown me things about myself that no one person could do, the same with you. Life looks us all in the face and say’s, “Well are you ready” because here comes a test. I’ve watched you travel place I’ve always dreamed of, I read your words of strength, I hear your followers speak their minds, but in the end, This has been your baby from the get go. “Project Bluesphere” is your and no one elses. Alex, grib this thought, we’re writting you on your site, not ours, and lets not forget all of the followers you have touched thru your travels, your words, your DVD’s, and most of all your life. I simply Thank You, for opening up to me, for my life has been enridhed by your “Peace, Love and Coconuts” as well. You are the man, The first thing I do everyday is see if you’ve wrote a new blog, or given us a new picture or maybe a short clip of video. You have became a part of my life that I live thru, So go sail the seas, go kill the fish, go thru another Ubber Death cloud, so we can sail again with you once again. I will wait for the day I log onto Project Bluesphere and see a new blog of you taking off to a new adventure, thats my wish for you. Alex, “NO ONE” knows you better than you do, so live it your way and sail the big blue waters. Know one thing from me, Thank you for sharing your words, your thoughts, your life, your dreams, your goals, but most of all your soul. How go back to “Peace, Love and Coconuts” when ending your blogs…..
wow…been thinking what to say. I have followed you from almost day one, but have only posted like three times.
Alex, you were in a no win situation. Having been re-married for the past 22 years but dealing with ex’s I could not figure out how Guinns father let her go. The few things you mentioned in your last two posts proved to me that he tried to make things as difficult as possible, and guilt Sam as much as possible. Any parent that has the means will fly around the world to see there child. And any parent worth half there worth would pay some sort of child support!
Your heart has been ripped in half, possible you might feel it will never heal, but you have something that so many of us drean and want…to be out there!!!! The sea will heal you, in time. Being out there is better than anything you can do right now. Continue to be yourself…..continue to update us, so that we can live the dream through you.
In a sense, your ship has been knocked down, but in true alex fashion, I expect you will get your ship in order soon. The sea has always held magical theraphy for me, I expect it does for you also.
you are spot on with how our society is now, I don’t need to be gone for years to see what you saw upon your return. your energy will once again be aligned with the sea…….